solluvathu yaarkum

most likely - forever hold in silence

2011-07-03T13:08:00.000-07:00

I had a dream. Dream of becoming a writer. A writer who is remembered for what he wrote , not on how many he wrote. Some one like Harper lee or Thiruvalluvar (if he is real). I used to say that's what my life is all about. If anyone wonder why these sentences are in past, because now I am becoming doubting Thomas. Not a doubting Thomas who put his toil and at the end found "oh, he is not there", and he does not have it. But a doubting Thomas because he never moved his first step in the direction of his dream. Is it what still he wants or is it a distant past of him, which he could not find in him any more. It's OK if the bright fire that was once , not in distant past, has become a cinder, but it looks as if it has become an ash. An ash: which has neither a warmth nor the trace of what it was a while ago.

If anyone reading this (I know there is only one who reads it), wonders why I think so, here is the revelation. Well I never wrote that often while I am in India as I am in US. However I wrote at least once a month, at least few lines to keep it floating. Sometimes there were longer gaps, I came back vowing I'll write more. But now it is close to an year since I last wrote. I used to say may be I am busy with things, new job, new house bla...bla... But now I am in US for a short trip, all alone with the time that gets killed on no purpose. Still I didn't thought of writing something.

It dawned on me, well I couldn't find anything to write about. That is the truth, somehow, somewhere in the life, I lost my urge to tell things, I lost opinions, I am becoming someone who neither has anything to tell nor wanted to tell. Is it because I found that there is no one to read what I say? I guess not. I don't know what triggered, life carried it all by itself, It keeps me spinning . I am becoming a top which tries to not to loose its foot and thrown out when the whip called life keeps you spinning like anything. Or is it just one more excuse?

Anyway I decided to record down whatever for some time I was noting down in my phone. Things which are too small to be find a place as a stand alone post.

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02-08-10:
Once I asked my Kerala friend, why he always carry umbrella? He said it's Kerala, you'll never know when it'll rain. Similarly its Chennai and you never know when you'll get stuck in traffic. Every road has the possibility to get congested. Just like how a clear sky can surprise with a downpour, a smooth flowing traffic can stop. Reason could be someone just parked a lorry and went or simply lot of people choose to travel in that road on that eventful day. Till you reach your house, you can never tell how long you have to be in the road.

03-08-10:
When you have nothing to do , no one to laugh or fight or cry or to talk about weather (for that matter on anything that neither of you care), you start to think. when everything else shuts up, mind starts to run amok. For me, of all things the toughest is, when I hit bed and close my eyes or when I am awake in the night journeys which keeps going as if never end, to not let my thought train start. The trouble is the horizon it dabble, questions it throw. They neither make the days passed as worthy one nor the days to come as green.

14-04-11:
He looked at me. He said, "you want to become the one, you never is". Before I react he went. He is nowhere. Maybe he is the one everywhere and I am just trying to find him somewhere alone and end up finding him nowhere.

09-05-11.
Life is like a train journey. A destination less journey, disguised as the one towards a destiny. The truth is every one's only destination is death. Till then we travel. All of a sudden in a station we are asked to get down and catch another train. Sometimes we make the choice , sometimes other force us. But each time we hop, we think it'll be a better journey in a cosy class. But all we do is keep waiting for the station to do the switch by looking at the station boards and biting our nails on whether we catch the next train.

Instead if we board the train and enjoy the luxury it gives , all looks better for a while , but soon things go down , just like a long distance train toilet. It gets more crowded and we are damned. We can never sit and enjoy the ride. Moment we do, we miss our hopping station- all the vigilant hops we did so far become waste. Popular wisdom is always right about the station one has to hop,class one have to board. But the trouble is one has to keep hopping till death. It never stops. Either one adjust himself to live in the staleness of pond or keep flowing. There is never a neutral in war and a balanced in life.

There is nothing about the people who do the hop all their life. But for others. For those who are like me: So the question is who is smart the one who gives up as he has no energy to hop after several hops or the one who settled with the first stale itself.

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This is good, though just copying what I wrote some time back. I figured some or most I have written stinks. It could have been done far better. But guess what, I love doing it. It is not like one of those movies which you love as kid and now in your thirties , you watch again and wonder, Did I like this shit. Still I guess this is part of my life, My dream,( thought there is a good chance it'll be just my dream).

traffic diaries-2

2010-07-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

What all we do is to play. Life and we exchange punch inside a boxing square. For an epoch of time, you go on defense mode, dodging the punch and for some time you try to make some hits. It might get nasty with some hits under belt. As bell goes round after round, it's not that easy to play a disciplined game. All gets fair. One fine day you enter the arena, but don't go for the square. You take a chair and watch the match while sipping a drink. It doesn't matter who plays against whom. You observe it like a passenger in a window side seat. It is called aging gracefully, a life well lived. But not all get this. Some are forced to play at square and for some the beatings they took in match make them to close themselves in their room , shut away from world, in a state of self imposed imprisonment.

சிங்கம்

2010-06-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

எவ்வளவு மொக்கை படமாய் இருந்தாலும் விடாமல் பார்பவன்தான் நான். பள்ளி நாட்கள், cable ஆரம்ப காலம், Raj digital channel சனி ஞாயிறு நாட்கள் காலை 4 படங்கள் போடுவார்கள். Censor board அதிகாரிகள் மட்டுமே பார்த்திருக்க கூடிய படங்கள் அவை. அவர்கள் கூட முழுசாய் பார்த்திருப்பார்களா தெரியவில்லை. அப்படி பார்த்திருந்தால் ஆளில்லாத டீக்கடையில் டீ ஆற்றும் அவர்கள் கடமை உணர்ச்சியை என்ன சொல்வது. அவற்றையும் கூட விடாமல், ஒன்று அல்ல 4 படங்கள் தொடர்ந்து பார்த்த 'ரொம்ப நல்லவனான' நான் பயப்படும் சில பெயர்கள் உண்டு. அவை பேரரசு, விஜய், Sun pictures. இந்த 3 பேருக்கும் இடையே நிறைய தொடர்பு உண்டு. பேரரசு விஜய்யை வைத்து படம் எடுத்தார். அப்பறம் விஜய் படத்தை பரத், அஜித் இப்படி எல்லோரையும் வைத்து எடுத்தார். Sun pictures ரெண்டு விஜய் படம் எடுத்தாங்க, இப்ப ஒரு வித்தியாசத்துக்கு சூர்யாவை வைத்து ஒரு விஜய் படம் எடுத்திருக்காங்க.. Trailer பார்க்கும் போதே கொஞ்சம் பயமாத்தான் இருந்தது. வாழ்க்கையில் சில சமயம் மூளையின் எல்லா neuron சொல்லும் செய்யாதேன்னு, இருந்தும் செஞ்சுட்டு திருதிருன்னு முழிப்போம் (அவனவனுக்கு அவன் கல்யாணம் ஞாபகம் வந்தால் நான் பொறுப்பில்லை), அப்படி ஒரு முடிவுதான் நான் சிங்கம் பார்த்தது.

எதாவது வித்தியாசமாய் செய்யனுமினு room போட்டு யோசிச்ச ஹரி, heroவிற்கு intro தர மாதிரி இந்த தடவை வில்லனுக்கு தந்திருக்கார். ரொம்ப புத்திசாலி வில்லந்தான் ஆனால், ஹீரோவோட மோத ஆரம்பிச்சவுடன், காசு குடுத்து படம் பார்க்க வந்தவனை விட, முட்டாளாகிவிடுகிறார். அந்த கால பீர்பால் கதையை , இன்றைய ஆதித்யா tv பார்த்து வளரும் குழந்தைகள் தெரிந்து கொள்ள வேண்டும் என்பதற்காவே கதையில் நுழைச்சிருக்காரு டைரக்டரு. சூர்யா சண்டை போடுகிறார்; ஊர் பிரச்சனையை தீர்கிறார், சின்ன ஊர் என்பதால் பிரச்சனைகள் அதிகம் இல்லை, எனவே சிங்கத்தின் மதியூகத்தை மீண்டும் மீண்டும் நாம் அறிய , heroine வாய்ப்புக்கள் உருவாக்குகிறார். invariably ஒவ்வொரு வாய்ப்பும் ஒரு பாட்டோடு முடிகிறது. இதற்கெல்லாம் நடுவில் விவேக் மனம் தளராமல் நெடுநேரம் நம்மை சிரிக்க வைக்க முயற்சி செய்கிறார். நம் மக்கள் அதை மதிக்காமல் சீட்டைவிட்டு எழுந்து போகிறார்கள் அல்லது திருட்டு DVDயா இருந்தால் forward செய்கிறார்கள்.

சென்னையில் இருக்கும் வில்லனும் தூத்துகுடியில் இருக்கும் ஹீரோவும் எப்படி சந்திப்பார்கள் என நாம் குழம்பி கொண்டிருக்க, “கேக்கிறவன் கேனையனா இருந்தா கேப்பையிலும் நெய் வடியும்” ங்கிற message பார்வையாளர்களுக்கு சென்று அடையனுமுனு ரொம்ப யோசிச்சு , சென்னையில் இருக்கிற ஜட்ஜ், யாருக்கும் எங்க இருக்குனு கூட தெரியாத கிராமத்து police stationயில் ரிமாண்ட் கையெழுத்து போடனும் என்ற order போடுகிறார். அந்த ஜட்ஜுக்கு அந்த ஊர் பேர் எப்படி தெரிஞ்சுதுன்னு தெரியல்லை.

அதுக்கப்பறமென்ன வில்லனும் ஹீரொவும் ஆடுற ஆடு புலி ஆட்டந்தான் மீதி படம். சிங்கத்துக்கு சென்னைக்கு promotion கிடைக்குது. வந்து பார்த்தால் promotion வாங்கி குடுத்ததே நம்ம வில்லந்தான். அட என்ன twist அப்படின்னு என் கூட படம் பார்கிறவன் கிட்ட சொன்னா, இது தெரிஞ்சதுதானே அப்படினான். அது சரி அவன் மீட்க முடியாத இருளில் இருக்கான் அப்படின்னு முடிவு செய்து, தனி ஆளாகவே படத்தை ரசிக்கற முயற்சியில் இறங்கிவிட்டேன்.

விவேக்கால் தர முடியாத காமெடியை ரெண்டே scene வர விஜயகுமார் தருகிறார். சிங்கத்தை Assistant Commisioner ஆக்குவதாகட்டும், இறுதியில் சிங்கம் part 2 வரும் என சொல்வதாகட்டும், என்ன காமெடி.!!!

சுஜாதா, “திரைக்கதை எழுதுவது எப்படி" என்று ஒரு புத்தகம் எழுதி இருக்கிறார். எனக்கு தெரிந்து அதெல்லாம் வேஸ்ட். . சிங்கம் படத்தை எடுத்து அதில் இருக்கிற சில sequence மட்டும் மாற்றுவதற்கு கொஞ்ச நேரம் யோசித்தால் போதும், பலான ,sorry பல படம் பண்ணலாம்.

மென்முள்

2010-06-06T00:34:00.000-07:00

நெடுங்காலமாக வாசிக்க நினைத்து, நேற்று வாசித்து முடித்த புத்தகம்-மோகமுள். தி.ஜா என்றவுடன் பலரும் சொல்லுவது மோகமுள். ஆனால் நான் 'அம்மா வந்தாள்', 'தி.ஜா சிறுகதைகள்', 'நடந்தாய் வாழி காவேரி', பிறகுதான் மோகமுள் வந்தடைந்தேன். மோகமுள், பல கிளை கதைகள், நிறைய கதாபாத்திரங்கள், பல்வேறுபட்ட கதை நிகழ்விடங்கள் என எந்த சிறந்த படைப்பாளியின் 'magnum opus'யிலிருக்கும் அனைத்து விசயங்களும் கொண்ட படைப்பு. எந்த ஒரு படைப்பாளியின் நெடுங்கனவு.

திஜாவின் எழுத்தில் ஒருவித எளிமை இருக்கும் . எதோ சாதரணமாய் செய்து விட்ட மாதிரி இருக்கும். அதை நாம் திருப்பி சொல்ல முயற்சிக்கும் போதுதன் தெரியும், அதிலுள்ள சிக்கல்கள். திஜா வின் முத்திரை, புத்தகத்தின் பல இடங்களில் காண முடிகிறது. ஆனால் எல்லா இடங்களிலும் இருக்கின்றதா என்றால் இல்லை. இது என் தனிப்பட்ட பிரச்சினையாக கூட இருக்கலாம். ஒரு ராகத்தை எடுத்து ஒரு மணி நேரம் அதில் உள்ள நுணுக்கங்களை காட்டுகிற திறமையுடைய பாடகர் ஒருவரின், '2 மணி நேரத்தில் 6 பாட்டு' கச்சேரி கேட்பது போல் உள்ளது. திஜாவின் மிக சிறந்த வித்தைகளை படித்து விட்டு 'மோகமுள் ளில்' கிடைப்பது, an average experience for thi.ja standard.

மோகமுள் திரைப்படமாக எடுத்து கொண்டு இருந்த நேரமது, தினமணி கதிரில் வந்த கட்டுரையில், இருவர் மோகமுள் வாசித்து விட்டு அதே நினைப்புடன் கும்பகோணம் சென்று ஏமாந்து வந்ததாய் ஒரு செய்தி இருக்கும். உண்மையில் ஒரு இடத்தை விவரிக்கும் போது நம்மை அங்கு கொண்டு போய் அமர்த்திவிடுகிறார். இக்கதை அரை நூற்றாண்டுக்கு முந்தயைது, என்பது மறந்து போய், அந்த தெருக்களில் நாமும் உலாவுகிறோம். அவற்றின் அழகில் மயங்கி அதை காண விழையும் நொடியில்தான் புத்திக்கு எட்டுகிறது, இது கதையென்பது. இத்தகைய மயக்கத்தை ஏற்படுத்துவதில் திஜாவைவிட சிறந்தவரை நான் இன்னும் வாசிக்கவில்லை.

நிகழ்வுகளை, எண்ண ஓட்டங்களை விவரிக்கும் போது இரண்டிரண்டு படிகளாய் துள்ளும் நடை வாசிப்பாளனிடம் ஒரு வித புத்திசாலிதனத்தை எதிர்பார்கிறது. இந்த jump திஜாவின் மற்ற படைப்புகளை விட இதில் அதிகம் இருப்பதாகவே தோன்றுகிறது. பெரும்பாலும் கதை அதிகம் அலட்டிகொள்ளாது நிதானமாய் செல்லும் இரயில் போலவே செல்லுகிறது. ஆனால் முடிவில் எதோ துரித கதியில் எல்லோருடைய ஒப்புதலையும் பெற்று கதை முடியும் போது, இத்தகைய நாவலுக்குரிய முடிவாய் இல்லாமல் எதோ பின் குறிப்பு படிப்பது போல் உள்ளது.

திஜாவின் படைப்புலகில் சிக்கல்கள் பெரும்பாலும் கதாபாத்திரங்கள் உளசிக்கல்களேயன்றி, பிற மனிதர்களாலோ, நிகழ்வுகளாலோ வருவது அல்ல. வளைவுகளோ, திருப்பங்களோ இல்லாத , இரு பக்கங்களும் பசுமை எழில் நிறைந்த சாலையில் நடப்பது போன்ற ரம்மியமான அனுபவம். பிரச்சினை கதை இப்படியே 700 பக்கங்களுக்கு செல்லும் போது ஒரு வித தொய்வு ஏற்படுகிறது. இதனால்தான் என்னவோ எனக்கு இன்றும் , நான் பள்ளியில் படித்த சிறுகதை (கருணையே உருவான ஒரு ஆசிரியர் ஒரு மாணவனை தண்டித்துவிடுதல் பற்றிய கதையது) ஏற்படுத்திய தாக்கத்தை மற்றவை ஏற்படுத்துவதில்லை.

traffic diaries-1

2010-05-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

17-Feb-10:
Though you hate it,if normalcy is all you can have, why don't you try to have the better normalcy that most will admire you for?

03-May-10:
You got into a tunnel.It's completely dark. You are desperately looking for a light. Some light at the end of the tunnel- a ray of hope towards which you can run. You find one such light and start running towards it. But alas, you find that its not ray of hope but a train coming to hit you. Even if the destiny is that you have to hit by that train, won't it be better, if it had come without light. Why should it deceive you?How cruel it is! But that's what life does sometimes. It lifts you up in the air and let you fly for sometime and shoots you down. Can there be any reason for that other than you deserve some ting more than a normal failure? May be you are HIS favourite bitch whom HE decides to screw for good. Amen.

years gone by

2010-02-02T10:14:00.000-08:00

I just walked into the bus stop. A bus stopped, crossing me. There were few empty seats in the back row in common side. I went to notice the route. It was my route. There were already some people standing near the back door to get in. People were getting down from the front door. I rushed to the front to get in. Before I got in, few ladies entered. They were going in a relaxed way to ladies side and blocked my way to reach the empty seats. Things might be tough for women in other aspects, but in Chennai bus they have their laugh always. They always get their seat. Quite often guys would be standing and contemplating, can he take the ladies seat which is free for long time. Right then a girl will enter relaxed and think for few seconds as if which seat she can pick and would settle in one. So there is no hurry for them. But for me if I couldn’t get one of those few empty seats, I have to stand for another hour and half. I steered through the gaps, and got into a seat.

There is an hour and half that needs to be wasted. Instead of looking at traffic, getting frustrated and cursing it, I decided to hear some songs in FM. I used to hear FM regularly. Back then in my college days, I was having a tiny radio. Then we had only ‘Vaanavil’ (Government FM). They will speak a lot and put few film songs. I had that radio even in my initial years of work, I guess around that time Suriyan and Radio Mirchi came in. I liked Radio Mirchi during the day and Suriyan FM at night. Then I went overseas on assignment and got distanced from FM. Now there are more than a handful of channels. Just like cable TV, you can switch from one to another when there is a commercial in one. Lot of times I liked radio over cassette or CD. Main reason: hearing a song in radio is like life, there is an element of surprise and we never know what song comes next. If I hit upon a favorite song, the joy it brings is more than what I get when I select and hear it in a music player. With huge storage spaces in musical systems, we have more songs in our library, but often we hear the same song and miss our yesteryear’s favorite. When radio plays it, its like accidentally meeting one‘s old friend. It takes one down the memory lanes.

Radio played “nenjam ellam” song from Aayudha Ezuthu. When the album was released, it was my favorite song. The male voice and lyrics had an aura. Thanks to repeated hearing, the attraction faded over time and it ceased to pull my attraction. When the song was released, I had just joined work from college. Thinking back it had been long time, 6 years had gone by. Then I was a guy with big aims and strong opinions, now I am a man with lot more confusions, responsibilities and less hopes. During these years some things changed and several remained the same. I traveled around the world, stayed in foreign land for few years, fell in love, got married. On the other side, I had abandoned one of my goals and my other goal is still in air as fresh as it was then. While people around me had moved around or ahead and rode the waves of economic boom, I remained in the same company, almost same job, most often having my own excuses. I guess the common denominator behind everything was my comfort zone. It dawned on me, there is cost to every action but the cost of comfortable inaction is much higher. I looked through the window. Bus was crawling in the middle of heavy traffic, while some people were cutting lanes, finding gaps and moving ahead. For some reason it looked like my life.

Paa and being writer

2010-01-26T08:33:00.000-08:00

My wife asked me to write a post on “Paa”. I just saw the movie. The movie didn’t trigger any thought in me. If you love a movie or just a piece in it, then you can share your opinion on it. For that matter, if you hate a movie then also you can write about it. The trouble is with the movies, which you neither hate nor love. For that you have to be a wordsmith. I think that’s what distinguish a writer. You are not a writer, till you just articulate, your thoughts. You are, when you can take a figment of line that can’t be built any further and metamorphosis it into an interesting article of few hundred words, just like how a cotton candy is made from a teaspoon of sugar. . In a sense writer is like a magician. He tricks the reader. In paper he creates people, love, lust, hate cry and smile. The success of any writer is how much he pulls the reader into his magic- A world built just with words .

On “Paa”, it had no dull moments. But for some reason movie sounded familiar. It has consciously avoided the melodrama, these sort of movie takes. A woman in simple cotton saree and will of iron, a too good to be politician and a kid who is too old for his age not just in look and also in his wits-all these just sounded familiar in the era of feel good multiplex movies. But I had a question. The USP of the film is Amitabh- the star of bollywood, acting as kid hiding himself behind the makeup and modulated voice. The makeup and effects are so good that unless you keep chanting ‘it is He’ , you will forget it. It’s a movie advertised for a old man acting as kid, pushing himself into some difficult makeup’s. But when you enter movie hall expecting to see the traits of old man , which will tell he is the same old man and make your jaws open for the effort he has put, all you see is the character. It could be success of film, but doesn’t the viewers get dissatisfied, when they couldn’t identify their hero in screen. May be its just too perfect.

நடந்தாய் வாழி காவேரி

2010-01-24T00:06:00.000-08:00

எழுதுவது ஒரு வரம். சிலருக்கு இயல்பாய் வருகிறது. சிலருக்கு விஷ்வாமித்தரர் போல் கடும் தவம் செய்து பெற வேண்டிருக்கிறது. எப்படி வாய்த்ததோ, ஆனால் தி.ஜா விற்கு அவ்வரம் அளவின்றி இருக்கிறது. சுவாரசியமான கதையை சொல்வதென்பது வேறு, ஒரு கட்டுரை புத்தகத்தை சுவாரசியமாக சொல்வதென்பது வேறு. அதை சாதித்து காட்டி இருக்கிறார்கள் தி.ஜாவும், கிட்டியும், “நடந்தாய் வாழி காவேரியில்". அதுவும் என் போன்ற கட்டுரை என்றால் பயத்துடனே எடுப்பவனும் மூழ்கி போய் படிக்குமாறு.

காவேரியின் பாதையையும், அதன் கிளை மற்றும் உப நதிகளையும், காவேரியின் பாதையில் உள்ள ஊர்களையும் விவரிப்பதே புத்தகம். காவேரியின் போக்கை விவரிக்கும் போது, கண் முன்னே காவேரி ஓடுகிறது. இதை படிக்கும் பொழுது 40 ஆண்டுகளுக்கு முன்பு எழுதிய இந்த புத்தகத்தின் தலைவி, பெருகி ஓடிய இடங்களில் எல்லாம் இப்பொழுது வெறும் மணல் மேடாய் இருப்பது, வாழ்ந்து கெட்ட வீட்டை பார்பது போன்ற வலியை ஏற்படுத்துகிறது.

காவேரி கரை ஊர்களை பற்றி சொல்லும் போது, அதன் வரலாற்றையும், அது சார்ந்த நம்பிக்கைகளையும், அந்த ஊரில் வாழ்ந்த மனிதர்களையும், அவர் படைப்புகளையும் சொல்லி செல்லும் பொது, ஒரு வித nostalgia உருவாகிறது. கங்கை கொண்ட சோழபுரம் பற்றிய கேள்விகள், ஒரு நாவலை படிக்கும் போது மனதில் சில கதாபாத்திரங்கள் ஏற்படுத்தும் உணர்வை தருகின்றன.

ஆசிரியரின் தமிழ் இலக்கியகங்கள், மற்றும் கர்ஞாடக இசை மேல் உள்ள ஈடுபாடு, புத்தகம் முழுவதும் விரவி உள்ளது. பயண நூல், தகவல் களஞ்சியம் என்பதை எல்லாம் விட அதிக ஈடுபாடு வர காரணம் ஆசிரியருக்கு காவேரி மீது உள்ள காதல். காதல் இன்றி வேறெதுவும், இப்படி உருகி, இரசித்து எழுத வைக்காது.

எத்தனையோ இராஜ்ஜியங்களையும், மன்னர்களையும், படைப்பாளிகளையும், கோபுரங்களையும், அரண்மனைகளையும், கண்டு, நூற்றாண்டாய் நிலைத்து நின்று, பல துணை நதிகளை இணைத்து, சுளித்து, வளைந்து, பொங்கி, அடங்கி , துள்ளி, பல கிளை நதிகளாய் கிளைந்து, கடல் கலந்த காவேரியியை கொண்டாடும் புத்தகம்.அகண்ட காவேரியில் நமக்கு, இன்று மிச்சம் இருப்பவையோ, பரந்த மணல் திட்டுகளும், சிதிலடைந்த கோயில்களும்தான். அவைகளும் வேகமாய் கரைந்து கொண்டிருக்கும் நேரத்தில், நமக்கும், நமக்கு பின் இருப்பவர்களும் மிச்சம் இருப்பவையோ சிலப்பதிகாரம், தியாகராஜர் கீர்த்தனைகள் போன்ற காவிரியை கொண்டாடிய படைப்புகள் தான். அவை போலவே சாஸ்வீதம் பெரும் தன்மை வாய்ந்தது இப் படைப்பு.

drop-4

2009-08-24T21:02:00.000-07:00

Is this true?

“Yes”. He said in monosyllable without any hesitation, as if he waited for this question long enough.

“Was that a lie then?”. next question came even before the answer was given

“No, It was also true”, he answered trying to stop the smile the lips are taking.

Both were true as it is a result of when and where. Truth drifts with time and morphs itself. Truth is like a larva, we hide in our fist. After time when we release our fingers, it flies as butterfly. Truth is the biggest lie.

All is not well

2009-08-24T10:25:00.000-07:00

What am I doing with my life? So far its answer was eluding me through philosophical or existential point of view. Of late even in terms of my daily routines, I have no answer. Am I forgetting what I did or am I doing nothing? Time drips through my hand like the water in the hands of child. We never know what peace is unless it ends. The books are waiting like the old friend, who is waiting in his room to hug me and fill me with warmth. But still I am not able to get back to them. Its weeks since I finished last book, which by itself the one I have read for so long. To get back to our best pal, we need clarity and now in my mind everything looks like viewing a busy highway on a rainy day.

Responsibility is making decisions, taking a call, sticking to it and convincing others on that. For me any call made is bluffing with life and hence I always preferred to be a leaf drifting in the rapids of a great river. To the surprise of my own I bluffed with life. I started as a person entering for first time into casino, tightly clenching the few shillings in his hands and hesitantly took a table, observing fellow players, making calculation when shall he exit etc. But as game proceeds, as the web gets dense and as stakes gets higher, I recognize, there is no fall back. Things are going to change, leaving guilt in one way or other. To add more twists life brings in more responsibility. All of a sudden I become like a mother who got triplet in her first delivery. The guilt of ignoring other always lurks in her heart as she serves another. In the futility of making someone happy others are left hurt. Worse is yet to come- fatalism in the game of bluffing. It’s far more dangerous as the mind no longer takes how the cards are getting shuffled, who holds what. It simply bets, draws a card and drops it.

But everything has an end, though the traces will be in the air long after. All I wish is the hearts I hurt will understand me even though not forgive me.

என்றோ எழுதியவை-4

2009-06-23T10:10:00.000-07:00

நடக்க விடாமல்
கால்களை அமுக்கி,
சில சமயம் வீடு வரையே
ஒட்டிக்கொண்டு வந்து விடுகின்றன,
என்றோ,
கண்களை துருத்தி,
கடைசி துளியோடு,
கழண்டு விழுந்து-மணலாக
மாறி போன பிரியம்.

என்றோ எழுதியவை-3

2009-06-23T09:59:00.000-07:00

பாலையின் வெட்கை

இரவின் மடியில்,

என் இருப்பை

வினவி பொகின்றன

உன் இல்லாமை.

காதோர கடிகள்

தலை சிலிர்க்கையில்,

காற்றோடு கரைகிறது-

நள்ளிரவு கனவாய்.

வேண்டாத போது -வரும்

மரணத்தை விட கொடியது

வேண்டிய போது

வாராத மரணம்.

என்றோ எழுதியவை-2

2009-06-23T09:29:00.000-07:00

சீட்டாட்டம்

ஒவ்வொரு சுற்றிலும்

வெவ்வேறு விரலில்,

வெவ்வேறு சீட்டுகளுடன் - சேர்வது

குலுக்கி போடப்பட்ட சீட்டுகள் மட்டுமல்ல...

கழித்துக் கட்டபடுவதும்,

முக்கிய புள்ளியாய் முளைப்பதும்,

பதுக்கபடுவதும்,

சீண்ட படாமலே போவதும்

சீட்டுகள் மட்டுமல்ல....

ஒட்டி நின்ற சீட்டுகள்

வேறு விரலுக்கு சென்றவுடன்

வெட்டபடுவதும் சீட்டாடத்திற்கு மட்டுமே

உரித்தானதல்ல...

ஆனால்,

அடுத்த ஆட்டம் அறிந்து கொள்வதும்,

ஆட தெரிந்தவனிடம் தஞ்சமடைவதும்

சீட்டுக்கு மட்டும் சாத்தியமில்லை.

என்றோ எழுதியவை-1

2009-06-23T09:19:00.000-07:00

1. துளிர் தேடும் அவசரத்தில்
கிழியும் காற்றானாது
வீழும் இலையின் மரணம்.
-------------------------------------------------------------
2. விலகும் தறிகள்
இணைத்து போகின்றன
இழைகளை.
------------------------------------------------------------
3. கிணற்றிலேயே வாழ்ந்து விட
முடியுமென்றால்- வேறென்ன கவலை
கிணற்று தவளைக்கு?

தேர்தல் முடிவுகள்2009

2009-05-17T13:48:00.000-07:00

பாராளுமண்ற தேர்தல் முடிவுகள், பெரும்பலோருக்கு ஆச்சர்யத்தை ஏற்படித்தியிருக்கிறது. அதிமுக கூட்டணியின் தோல்விக்கான காரணங்கள் என இப்பொழுது சொல்லபடுபவை எல்லாம் யூகங்களே. அவை நிருப்பிக்க முடியதவை. ஆனால் ஏன் பெரும்பாலனோர் எதிர்பார்ப்பு பொய்த்தது என அனுமானிக்கலாம்.

தேமுதிகா வின் ஒட்டு பிரிப்பு திமுகாவிற்கு சாதகம் என தேர்தல் முன்பு இருந்து பலர் சொல்லி வருகிரார்கள், ஆனால் என்னால் அதை முழுமையாக ஏற்க முடியவில்லை. காரணம்- தேமுதிகா ஆட்சியில் இருப்பவருக்கு எதிரான ஓட்டுக்களையே பிரிக்கிறது என்றால், ஏன் சென்ற சட்டசபை தேர்தலில் அது அதிமுகவிற்கு உதவவில்லை?
பணம் பாய்ந்திருக்கிறது -உண்மை. அதிமுக ஒன்றும் பண பற்றாக்குறையான கட்சி இல்லையே? இவர்கள் எல்லோரை விட பணம் குறைவாக உள்ள தேமுதிக நல்ல ஓட்டு விகிதம் பெற்று இருக்கிறதே?
இலங்கை தமிழர் பிரச்சினை: இதை மட்டுமே பிரதானமாக நம்பி எதிர்கட்சிகள் பிரச்சாரம் பண்ணினார்கள். ஆனால் அது ஏன் தேர்தல் அலையாக மாறவில்லை? ஒரு பிரச்சனை தேர்தல் அலையாக மாறும் போது அது பல தர்க்க நியாங்களை இழந்து, வெரும் உணர்வு பூர்வமாக மட்டும் பார்க்க படும். உதாரணம்: ராஜிவ் படுகொலைக்கு பின் தேர்தல், ஜெயலலிதா நடத்திய ஆடம்பர திருமணத்திற்கு பின் வந்த தேர்தல். தேர்தல் அலை எப்பொழுதும் ஒரு பொதுபடுத்தபட்ட குற்றவாளியையும், அதற்கு எதிரான வரையும் அடையாளம் கண்டிருக்கும்.ஆனால் இந்த முறை அப்படி நடக்கவில்லை. எல்லா கட்சிகளும் தேர்தல் நேர பிரச்சினையாக மட்டுமே இலங்கை பிரச்சினயை அனுகியது மக்களுக்கு பிடிக்காமல் போகியிருக்கலாம். அந்த பிரச்சனையின் நீண்ட நெடும் காலம், அதன் மேலான ஈர்ப்பை குறைத்திருக்கலாம். மிக முக்கியமாக, இலங்கை பிரச்சனை ltte மற்றும் இலங்கை அரசுக்கும் ஆன போராக மட்டுமே பெரும்பாலான் ஊடகங்களால் நிறுவ பட்டுவிட்டது. அது ஒரு மனிதநேய பிரச்சினையாக பார்க்க படவில்லை. அப்படி பார்க்க பட்ட ஒரு சில பார்வகளும் LTTE ஆதரவு என்றே முத்திரை குத்தபட்டது. In war ther is no neutral, either you or with us or against us- என்ற கால காலமாக ஏற்கவைக்கபட்ட வாதம், பிரச்சனையின் மையபுள்ளியை நகர்த்திவிட்டது. ஊடகங்களின் மூலமாக தன் எண்ணங்களை தீர்மானிக்கபடும் (வருத்தபட வேனடியது தான் என்றாலும், இதுதான் நிதர்சன்ம்), வாக்களர்கள், தீவரவாத எதிர்ப்பு, மரண ஒலம் இரண்டுக்கு நடுவே குழம்பி போகி , ஒரு தனிப்பட்ட எதிரியயை அடையாளம் காண முடியவில்லை. மக்களின் வாழ்வாதர பிரச்சினைகளை பற்றி பேசாமல் ஒரு உணர்வு பூர்வமான பிரச்சினையை முன் வைத்து வெற்றி பெற்று விடலாம் என சுலபமான பதயை தேர்ந்தெடுத்துவிட்டார் ஜெ.மின் பாற்றாக்குறையால் அதிகம் பாதிக்கபட்ட கொங்கு பகுதியில் திமுகாவால் வெல்ல முடியவில்லை. என் தனிபட்ட உணர்வு, விஜயகாந்த், மக்கள் பிரச்சினைகளோடு தன்னை இணைத்த அளவுக்கு கூட ஜெ இணயவில்லை.
திமுக எப்பொழுதும் தனெக்கெதிராய் ஒரு எதிரி இருப்பதையே விரும்பி இருக்கிறது. தன் வெற்றியைவிட மதிமுக, பாமக, போன்ற கட்சிகளின் வளர்ச்சியை மட்டு படுத்துவதில் அதன் கவனத்தை பல முறை செயல் படுத்தி இருக்கிறது. இது கருணாநிதியின் மிக பெரிய ராஜதந்திரம். முன் எப்பொழுதும் இல்லாத வகையில் , இந்த முறை, அது பெரிய அளவில் வெற்றி பெற்றிருகிறது. ஆனால், காலம் வெற்றிடங்களை விரும்புவது இல்லை. விஜயகாந்தின் ஓட்டு அதைதான் நிருபிக்கிறது. இன்னும் எத்தனை காலம் தனியாய் தாக்கு பிடிப்பார் என காத்திருக்கிறது திமுக/அதிமுக. வலைக்குள் விழுமா, அல்லது அதற்குள் எங்கேனும் வெல்லுமா என்பதை காலமே சொல்லும். அரசியலும் , சினிமா போலத்தான், பலமுறை, வெற்றியை தீர்மானிப்பவை, நிகழ்தகவுகளே. ஆனால் , தன் இருப்பிடத்தை தக்க வைக்க வெற்றிகள் அவசியம். அது சினிமாவில் ரஜினியாக இருந்தாலும் சரி, அரசியலில் விஜயகாந்தாக இருந்தாலும் சரி. அடுத்த தேர்தல், எல்லோரைவிட விஜ்யகாந்துக்கு பெரிய சவால்.

The Devil wears Prada

2009-05-03T23:18:00.000-07:00

As the movie title rolls, we see two women getting ready. The scenes switch between their bedrooms to give a sneak into the way how they start a day. One, carefully gets herself ready in empty nice house. On other hand, we see a girl who chose 'a' dress . She leaves from her messy room , kissing her boyfriend in bed and then eats a heavy burger with garlic and onion smell. She is the protagonist of the story, Andrea. Andrea is getting ready for her interview to the post of personal assistant to Miranda (played by Meryl Streep), the editor in chief of fashion magazine 'Run-away'. Miranda can make or break any fashion designer. This job is what any girl would die for. For Andrea, fashion world is just a dress. She want the job for the contacts it gives.It's a temp place for her. While every one runs behind Miranda, Andrea just does her job. She puts all her effort. She works even ignoring her meeting with her father. She does it to show she is capable but not because she likes it. She doesn't get a smile from Miranda. She says Andrea disappoints her. Andrea decides to resign. But it makes her feel as if she is quitting. Andrea, the intellectual, smart girl. Girl with brains in a place loaded with girls whose brain knows only about food and dress. Can she quit ?Won't it mean she couldn't do what those girls can do. Does she concede? After this movie is about how Andrea wins the heart of Miranda. She shouts over the roof top when Miranda remembers Andrea name and ask her to do deliver notes in her house. But in the course she loses her friends, boy friend more importantly what she stood far. What is worse, when everyone says she has changed, she thinks she didn't, she thinks she is same old idealistic girl and now she had no other option. She does everything just because Miranda wants her do it.

Are we all not Andrea? The world calls it as growing up, becoming சமத்து. Are we not get seduced by the appreciation of our superiors .For that aren't we move far from what we stand for and get engulfed in the great grand spin? The greatest irony is that we never know that we are moving away from our base. At the end when we get changed so much, we no longer remember where our base is. Its same for an innocent college grad enters into corporate or for an revolutionary leader who starts his fight against giant system for the people's independence and sovereignty. We all wonder how he got changed so much, how he degraded from a Savior to a mob killer, how she changed from a heart of gold to surviving beast which will drink any blood to secure its position. The real world says its as being practical. What a vicious word? What a euphemistic way of saying nothing else is reality?

All start as a small compromise. Small compromise to stay in the game. Change yourself little bit so that you can be in the game and when your time comes you can do what you want. But for that you have to be in the game. But, history again and again shows, these people when they reach the point, which they wanted to reach- not for its attraction but for the help it will give to their cause- gets completely merged into the system and no longer remembers why they actually want to reach there.

It all starts as a simple game of visiting the boundaries of a dark forest. We just keep few steps in and get out. We keep playing. We think we can toy with it. But over time, before we recognize, we reach a point of no return. In the movie Annie just throws her mobile and gets back to her world. In real life, we couldn't say so easily, "I quit", even when we realize the cost of running it is getting more. Eventually we chose to surrender than to quit.

அறிமுகம்

2009-04-12T20:46:00.000-07:00

காம புள்ளியை சுற்றி
காலம் கோடு போட்ட
கோலம் நான்.

Out lie rs

2009-03-29T23:18:00.000-07:00

Outliers is a book by Malcolm Gladwell, which analyses the success of people and tries to put the big picture behind the success. As it says, the bigger picture is the things our conventional moral lessons fail to say. It says how society, cultural heritage and chance plays important role in one becoming successful or famous. It is not just one’s talents. What it says is not those people became successful just because they were lucky. It accepts they were talented. But they had something beyond their talents that brought them the fortunes. For some it was where their great grand parents born. For some it was their year of birth or month of birth. Actually these are the things it states as reason for their success more than their talents: When you born, where you born, to whom you born and to whom they were born. It’s interesting and even more convincing. But what it ignores is it doesn’t speak about negative samples. About the people whom even with their talents failed. Well it shrugs of it with the argument those people don’t exist; they are wiped out simply because it’s winners who write history.

The book brings out an interesting fact; any person who succeeds has put 10000 hours of work before he succeeds. Neither one succeeded without that much hours of effort, nor one failed with that much work. What it extrapolates is the people with some advantages (the ones stated above) gets these hours. And the other group doesn’t. Well its huge amount of time to put. You won’t put so much unless you get some feedback, you will give up in middle if you don’t think you can make out. It’s like a marathon. The moment you know you won’t finish, you quit. It’s easy. You can find it sooner. But it applies only to the people who run for the purpose of winning. Not for those people who run for the reason of running. It is the point the book fails to understand. It is true the year of birth plays pivotal role in the Silicon Valley success stories. But it’s more important when they entered into computer field they don’t know it’s the future. They hooked to it because they loved it, not because they thought it will bring them success. That is the fundamental reason. The passion. No one can predict how world takes its course over years. All one can do is to do the things that he love to do. It’s one thing you can see in the people all who succeeded. Bill gates didn’t spend 10000 hours in computer because he predicted it will be the future. It’s true A.R.Rahman got Oscar because he was in music industry when world is shrinking and India is growing. But what’s more important is he didn’t chose music as his profession, because he predicted globalization or because he know what he should do in next 20 years to get Oscar. It’s simply because he loved music. The converse is also true. Take any profession or industry, its not nurtured persons, persons whose parents identified it’s the future and nurtured their offspring, who made their marks in industry. By overwhelming majority its people who are first of it’s kind. What Malcolm Gladwell fails to point out is a single story where a person understood his date of birth advantage, his year of birth advantage, his cultural advantage and chose a profession and marveled in it. He can’t present a case like that simple because it doesn’t exist.

What he says is truth, undisputable but it holds no value. It’s like the fact earth is round for a person who never traveled more than 100 mile from his place of living. It is as much true as saying, sun raises in east is false. But it holds no value. Because at the end of day, what makes this life a worth one is the reason for which it lived. A man loses his life once he knows his life is built on nothing. It is his beliefs, his passion, however foolish they are to the critical eyes, but that’s what keep them running. It’s not the success it gives. Success is just by-product.

P.S.:
An important thing, I learned in this book is that I have to give my 10000 hours of work to make whatever I wrote to be more interesting.

drop-3

2009-03-29T20:29:00.000-07:00

There was a sound. It was not disturbing. It does not have a beat or rhythm or anything that could make it as music. It cannot be shrugged as noise or as hissing sound. Actually, he didn’t sense it when it was there. He identified it when it was absent. He felt the difference in its absence. He tried hard to remember how it sounded. He could not put his finger. He could not bring it back, even with his musical talents which brought him awards from every corner of the world. His impotency made him to doubt his senses. Is it true he heard them or he just dreamt as he heard it all these years. Is it just another dream he just woke up from?

விலாசமில்லாத மடல்

2009-03-07T22:52:00.000-08:00

வார்த்தை கடலில் ,
நமக்கான உறவை சொல்லும் வார்த்தை,
சிப்பிக்குள் முத்தாய், எங்கோ...

நான் வருண பகவானல்ல...
ஆனால் பாசியில் இருந்து முத்துக்களை
பிரிக்க தெரிந்தவன்.........

உன்னை நான் அறிமுகபடுத்துவதற்கான வார்த்தை
என்றேனும் சரியான சிப்பியில் விழும்...
என்றேனும் என் கரை தொடும்....

ஆனால்,
அன்று என் அருகில் இருப்பாயா நீ?
இல்லை நம் உறவு
இறந்த காலம் ஆகி இருக்குமோ?

(பி.கு). உனக்கு தெரியும் இது உனக்கு தானென்று..

Drop-2

2009-03-03T23:02:00.001-08:00

You are there. I could sense your body in my breath. Your fragrance fills my nostrils. I feel the heat generated from your body. I stretch my hand to hold you. I wake by the sound of my servant. He came close to me thinking I called him. I nod my head, indicating him to leave. I have meetings to catch up and deals to sign. I am the hope, role model for any aspiring youth. Books were written. My life had been microanalysed: how smart my choices were? How each moved me an inch towards what I am now?

I have everything, still nothing. I am happy, still unhappy. May be my choices were wrong. I should have dropped everything and shall have come with you when you called me. We might be in a house arguing whether we should buy a saree for you or chappal for me with the bonus I got. We might fight everyday. Neighbors might murmur about us with heads low as we cross them. But I will have you. Is that I want? After all these years, I don’t know. I don’t know the answer to the question my dad asked me while I am in my hall and you are in the station waiting for me. It’s a life I never lived, I could never live. I have no answer how could it be. I don’t know which is worthy?

Drop-1

2009-03-01T20:22:00.000-08:00

I shall write, as frequent as, at least a para at a time. It could be about anything including nothing. It shall have simple sentences. Short sentences of small but correct words. It shall attempt nothing other than speaking interestingly. It will be written- rewritten till it’s achieved. It can speak about same things again and again, I can rephrase what some one said, but it shall not use same sentences.

Why it shall present here. The people who reach for this blog can be counted in two hands. They come here because they know me, nothing else. When I started to write here 2 years back I thought it would be a miracle it crosses 10. Here I am close to half century. So I hope I can outlive my expectations.
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“What the hell you mean by, is he normal? He is normal…Yes, He says Let there be lights, even to turn on room light. It’s because he reads lot, dreams lot. He wants to become a playwright. He will become, my son will.” The tiny drop about to spill from her eyes finds place in kerchief.

“Please find him. He didn’t runaway, He is missing. I am a single mother, I drink, smoke, I live selling me. But I am not a bad mother. I love him” Her heart screamed, but her lips only quivered.

ARR , OSCAR, Lady Fortuna

2009-02-23T22:31:00.000-08:00

Yes, A R Rahman is lucky enough, lady Fortuna really smiled at him, to get two Oscars , on first nomination itself, when several talented people had to settle with just nominations and nominations all their life time. There is no denying of it. But,
it was 1992 he made his first Tamil film music,
it was 2002 when he made his maiden stage productions "Bombay Dreams", in Broadway.

It has been 6 years since he entered global arena, with the backing as most famous music composer from a country of vast differences like India, in a period where global Indians are outnumbering and spreading across all geographies. Still he could manage only handful of global movies in all these years. He gave his best, he tried all these years to put his mark on global map.

Yes , instead of Latin America it happened to be India, to be used to show the dark alleys of developing (or is it third world ?) country. As it happened to be a film happening in India and among the people of Indians, an Indian music director is needed. Above that it happened to be a fairy tale that speaks about hope and the victory of honesty while living in a possible hell (Oliver twist of the current recession driven world). Lady Fortuna made all these to happen to handover the Oscar to A R Rahman(How the titular question and the answer of the film slum dog millionaire aptly fits here: "How did he do it? The ans: Its written"), but it was ARR -his talents and his perseverance, which made himself to stand in a place lady Fortuna smiles.

Guru Dutt-1

2009-02-15T18:20:00.000-08:00

It had been some time since I wrote anything that can be qualified as an article. It’s almost 2 months. All I wrote is snippets. May be that’s what my life is turning into; from large planned constructed grandeur dreams to small tiny snippets which just shine a moment and before you capture its gone. All one left with afterwards just vast dark sky.

What I did? I read lot some books, the books I enjoyed, the books I felt average and luckily nothing I dropped in the middle. But if I try to recollect names I couldn't. May be I will start to tell the story and before I know I might jump to an incident from other story, it might be from a movie I saw. Because that’s what I am doing when I am not reading book, watching DVD's from netflix. That brings me to what I want to write about- Guru Dutt movies.

I happened to watch 3 Guru Dutt movies and 2 of them back to back. It’s interesting how some movies leave an impact in us; even they are half a century old and tells a story that most films tell. They still impact us in spite of the length, the songs which comes every now and then (like the bus in rural areas which stop at every wink or for every man standing close to the road), the cardboard sets, the lighting and static cameras. Thinking about the new technology in camera, music, graphics or story telling they can catch a momentary attraction but surely they can't make a work survive against time. The only thing that can make one survive the test of time is the heart of the movie, what it says and how it says. The first movie to use cinema scope, to be multicolor, to use some xyz camera, the one hero does 10 roles or 100 roles, nothing matters. The person who forces himself to remember it might win some quiz, but they are mostly like the impression you make in the sands of beach. You can press as much as you want but eventually some tide might wipe it out. But a perfect movie is something like first kiss. Its impression not lies on the cheek where you got it but inside your heart. It stays there till you lose your heart.

In Pyassa, Vijay is a poet who is running into publishers to make his work as book. No one is ready to do. His brothers, who sell his work as waste paper, ill treats him and throw him out of house. He accidentally meets a prostitute, Gulab, who sings his song not knowing he is the writer of those songs. When Vijay follows her as he hears the song, she mistakes him for a customer and knowing he has no money she throws him out. Then she learns he is the writer, falling in love for his works she tries to help her. She falls in love for him. But his pride stops him from taking much help from her and he runs away from her. Vijay meets his college day lover Meena who is now married to a rich man, whom she chose over Vijay for economic reasons. She still likes him but she wants to have wealth too. Her husband, Ghosh, smelling something wrong about her wife's past offers Vijay a job. He is a publisher. His whole intention is to know about his wife’s past and so he brings Vijay home and humiliates him. Meena wants vijay's love as a hobby. Vijay gets out of job. He gets to know her mother is dead. He no longer wants to live.

He decides to end his life. But before that he gives his coat to a beggar who dies and Vijay escapes with some injury. Everyone things Vijay is dead. Gulab, with all her savings publish Vijay work. It becomes big hit. Everyone takes pride in his work, including his brothers and Ghosh except Gulab. When Vijay comes back every own denounce him saying not Vijay and puts him in asylum. He escapes from there and comes for his memorial service. Now everyone takes his side. Being fed up with the world he says he is not that Vijay, and leaves the world and goes somewhere with Gulab.

When the movie starts Vijay is singing about the beauty of world the nature and about a bee that enjoys the world and suddenly someone walking crushes it and walks away even without noticing. That’s what Vijay's life. A human soul's cry for love, for honesty, for dignity, it being beaten up on every corner of the world, which loses its hope in the dark alleys of life: that’s what Pyassa is all about.

life and numbers

2009-02-15T16:29:00.000-08:00

Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them.
----from the curious incident of the dog in the night time by Mark Haddon

plagiarism

2009-02-07T00:10:00.000-08:00

சொல் இன்றி -நீ
சொல் பவையின்,
பொருள் புரியாமல்
பொருளற்று போகுது-என்
பொழுதுகள்.

choose the correct answer

2009-01-23T22:07:00.000-08:00

1. Which is worse?
a. Nothing to tell,
b. No one to tell.

2. Which is more vicarious?
a. Living through books,
b. Living through Gtalk

3. What is life?
a. roulette,
b.Russian roulette

4. What is history?
a. You beat someones record.
b. someone beats your record.

5. What is big lie?
a. There is a correct answer
a. There exists truth

It's a lie!!! (nitpick)

2009-01-19T22:28:00.000-08:00

I shall thank to my 5 year old niece to open my eye to the lie with which we started our country. I was talking to her over phone. She was starting to school and asked me about my office. I said for me it is night. She could not understand. She was wondering how could be such a bright sun exists and I can say night. That was the moment it dawned me what a lie i have read, re-read hundreds of times , quoted hundreds of times, has been accoladed for reciting out with a vociferousness more than that of the person who said it first time: “when the world sleeps, India will awake to life”. does ever whole world sleeps at same time?

2009-01-18T16:33:00.000-08:00

உனக்காக மறிக்கச் சொல்,
நொடியில் செய்வேன்,
உனக்காக வாழ சொல்லாதே-
நான் தோற்று போகிவிடுவேன்.

2009-01-12T23:11:00.000-08:00

Sunday mid night I am in deep sleep. It seems my phone has ringed and My room mate gave it to me saying you got a call and and it was over before i picked, It seems you have message. I read : “Bond died”. I was shocked. It was just few days I was chatting to him in gtalk , about his plan to go to kolkata. He was beaming that with that he would have gone to all metros...typical of him. He speaks speaks speaks for hours, elaborating on things...He will tell the story of a 3 hours movie for 3 hours.

I still remember the day i met him. I had joined company from campus and was looking for a house. I took room with Thiru who joined with me in the company. He said two of his college mates will join with us. I was moving to that house on night and bond was there. He told me his name is Vinoth and people call him bond. He started to speak as if he knew me for years. No one called him Vinoth. For all he is bond, even to the lady who came to cook food for us....

I think it was on Saturday or Sunday, I saw him in gtalk , but as I spoke to him just few days back I didn't ping him. I thought i can ping him later. Later , that's how we take things in life. We take things for granted. We take our things will exist and by a crude stroke by a moment its gone. Sometimes life is so cruel , it never gives a second chance. It throws us just questions, questions any single answer we find throws open hundreds of question and all of a sudden in fraction of moment it wipes us out. All this for what purpose? What greater good? what end ?

தப்பித்தல்

2008-12-30T19:21:00.000-08:00

சிறை பட்டு,
தரை பார்த்து,
உறை பனியாய் கிடக்கும் நாட்களில்
கரைந்து போகாமல்,
கரை கடப்பது எப்போது?

System

2008-12-21T13:05:00.000-08:00

There are four coins in the table I have an option to chose one. I chose one on my free will. So were all millions of people before and after me. Based on what every one chose surely there would have been a probability of what I might have chosen. As billions and billions people had chosen the probability would be damn accurate with an negligible error percent. If what I chose could have been predicted without ‘me’ does that not mean I have no free will? Didn’t I choose what I shall have chosen?

No. Because the probability is from the perspective of the system. If the system has predicted I might chose coin A and if I chose coin B then it is only a negligible error for the system for which I am one among the sample space of billions. I am no longer an error, only a noise. The fundamental premise of the system is the common denominator of a huge population, which is called the social behavior. It is not something that existed. It is something that has evolved just because more people decided to choose a coin over the other three. But the system conveniently can forget it and project on collective consciousness as it will make the system more reliable and simple. If a system has to be reliable it has to be simple enough for more people to believe and not simple enough to understand.

Do I change anything in system by choosing otherwise? No I can’t change the system. It’s not even my intention. My intention is my own ends. If my choice is in line with system prediction it embraces it. If not throws out me as noise.

The bicycle thieves

2008-11-09T10:57:00.001-08:00

Films are essentially about what it creates in you when you watch. But still context matters, more, older the film is. For the films which don't belong to our times, the one about which we read so many times, which we want to see because everyone you awe, awed about it. If we don't know the context, we may miss the beat. We may fail to understand why it was so pulsating then(though not now). The bicycle thieves also needs one such context. If we don't remember (to be exact force ourselves to remember), once cycle itself a luxury, we can ask what the heck, its a cycle.

The movie is more like a short story. It's during great depression times in Italy. The hero gets a job, when everyone struggles to get it. His job is to post flyers. He needs cycle for it. He talks to his wife about his rotten luck of having job and not to go. His wife takes the bed spreads which came as a present for her marriage,(which will explain why she is soar when she takes it to pawn shop) to pawn shop. With the pledged money he retrieves the cycle he pledged long time back. The whole country is running through pawn shops. It is one of the beautifully shot scene in the film. He goes to next counter in the same shop to redeem his cycle. At that time a person carries the bed spreads to store it. He enters a room which is filled with nothing but pledged bedspreads, as if the whole countries bed spreads just lie there.

While in work bunch of guys steal his cycle. The remaining movie is his search for it. During the process he even goes and meet an evangelist , whom he ridicules when his wife go to pay her for prediction that her husband will get job. He becomes a believer, he walk through all roads with his son for cycle. At last when he realizes he can't get the cycle, he decides to steal one. He steals and get caught. People beat him , and all this happens before his son. He walks back with his son. No longer its just a cycle that he lost.

The film still has relevance: you can replace a cycle with something. What makes a person to commit his first crime? The little push that starts the free fall of human character. Human character- that’s the word we use to define a man .Man who is actually what he is made of ,all those virtues he wrapped himself which might be of no value, they can't protect him if the things turns out to be too vicious to not break up. As the movie closes he walks back towards home, wiping his face with kerchief and his son holds his hand and his face is filled with tear, it can break anytime.

Its a neorealist film, the earliest of films that used real people and not actors in movie. But not those 'first of time' that makes this movie stand against winds of time. Its relevance, the concept it speaks about and the way it speaks. The way it follows a man's search for his cycle, his only source of hope to a normal life in a dying country. How far he goes to get it back, how much he puts in stake to get it, how much he will take before he gets broke. A movie more than just worth to watch for.....

Note: I thought of the interesting movies I watched last 2 weeks in a single post but will post others later

The Hours----time ticks

2008-10-26T00:18:00.000-07:00

Books (even movies and music) are like wine, they need to get old with time before declaring them masterpiece. It needs more than one sip to peel out the various aromas they will give. Their taste more often don’t lie with buds in tongue but on the way it travels in and the sense it gives. But we can say whether it can become a good wine ,the moment it was pour in to the cask for storage. On my first read of ‘the hours’, exactly that’s what I felt: It’s a good read.

The novel traces 3 stories or could I say 3 independent incidents. Each one is rooted to its past and impacted profoundly by what they are and how they were. Virginia wolf is about to write her greatest story, “Mrs. Dalloway”. As that particular day unfolds she decides about what each character will do. What actually dictates their character? What she is, what she want to be, how she conflicts and collide with people conjures up as a story. It’s a magic of capturing the moment where a flower blossoms and the sweet scent fills the room. It’s a momentary feel, technically you can say the instant where it happened report it micro second by microsecond, but still you might not have told what actually happened. But Michael Cunningham transpires it beautifully. May be it’s because he took the literary freedom and made a story out of incidents that transpired over a period of time. May be, Virginia wolf wrote Mrs. Dalloway and she had committed suicide later in her life is the only fact that he stated. May be all things he stated are actually happened in his mind. What the heck …its so beautifully told, with all those powerful words, expressions and metaphors above all its relevance to life, the real life, not the life of blood and skin but that of the grey and white matter.

Mrs. Lara Brown has a picture perfect family, what most will long for. She has a war hero husband who is sincere in his work and in his care for family. On his birthday, he wakes up before his wife, buys flower and makes breakfast for his son. He senses his wife is dull but he attributes it to her pregnancy. He is, the common man, the successful common man. But the problem is Laura is not looking for him. What she wants is not this. But can she say it? She fills her life in reading books. Her everyday is struggle between the life she wish to have and the life she have which is filled with the people who love her and care for her. On the particular day she is reading the novel “Mrs. Dalloway”. You could blame the novel she was reading or the passionate kiss she gave to Kity, which made her understand her lesbian interest or who knows what inside her brain, she decides to commit suicide. But her love for life stops her from doing it and she returns to her family. Eventually she leaves her family and runs to Canada and spends her life as a librarian.

Clarissa is an editor living with her lesbian partner in New York. She is busy on the day with the party she is planning for her friend, Richard. Richard, an AIDS patient who is counting his days to death, has been awarded a literary honor, for the only novel he wrote, which spends reams and reams of paper about nothing. The only thing, who ever read it understood is (from the lady who sells the flowers to Richard‘s gay partner), he has spoken in length about Clarissa. He has a chapter running for pages which simply states how much time Clarissa had spent in a nail polish shop , ending up not buying any nail polish .‘The hours’ presents itself a book on existentialism, on marginal people, what not. But at the end, all I could feel is, it is the best love story I have ever read. The one that Clarissa has on Richard and the one Richard has on Clarissa. Of all the things that happened to her she still remembers the day, the kiss she shared with Richard. That was the happiness. She thought it was the starting. But thirty years later she knew it was the moment. Richard (only Richard) call her Mrs. Dalloway for reasons no one know. May be on a crazy moment when both knew each love one another more than anything else, on the moment of pinnacle of one’s happiness he started to call her Mrs. Dalloway and he calling her so continues. Clarissa, still wonders, how it could have been if they chose to be together. They are not together; it’s more because of their love for them, which is actually their love for life. Some hours before the party, Richard commits suicide. How much it affects Clarissa? It looks she knew it all way. Her love for day is slightly more than her love for Richard. After all that’s what keeps us moving, isn‘t it? In spite of all the heartbreaks, all those hours which just exist to remind us the good old time once we had. We all rooted in our past and we still look forward for day for reasons no one can say how. The concluding line of the novel best surmises it:
“We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep. It's as simple and ordinary as that. A few jump out windows, or drown themselves, or take pills; more die by accident; and most of us are slowly devoured by some disease, or, if we're very fortunate, by time itself. There's just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds & expectations, to burst open & give us everything we've ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) know these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning, we hope, more than anything for more. Heaven only knows why we love it so.”

Life is all about living

2008-10-07T23:18:00.000-07:00

For the sake of convenience let’s assume I met this lady, who is in her fifties, somewhere in my life and we were talking about something which ended up about war.

I saw some news, it seems some blast in your country. Is it war? She asked.

Well it’s not war, as countries fight, but some fundamentalist and terrorist organization, I told her.

“War is bad, too bad”, she continued. They will give a warning and will drop the bombs. I was a kid. 10 years old. I was in street for shopping. One such sound came. People were running. I don’t know what to do. I saw a shop owner closing his shop. I went in. I was a small kid. Her hands were showing a small height, and her eyes were lost somewhere. So he allowed inside and closed the door. There was a heavy sound of shells dropping and guns shooting (actually she made the sound). Then after 10 minutes no sound. The shop owner opened the door slightly and saw outside. He asked me to wait for some time then after an hour he opened the door and asked me where I Live. I told it’s just few blocks away. I came out. Its dead bodies on street. I saw my parents searching for me in them. When I used to go to school, I will see these dead soldiers in age of 13 or 17 outside the church . It will disturb me. It still disturbs me. I take medicine. I talk with people, consult doctor otherwise I may get depressed. If I saw any such news in TV, my husband will switch off the TV. Suddenly in night I may wake up, because I may hear the shooting sound and the light that chased me when I tried to escape. If my son plays music loud, I ask him to reduce. I don’t know why there is war but war is bad.

I don’t know what to say. I simply saw her. She was regaining her control. She said life is going. When I landed in this country, it was cold, I was having no winter dress, I am standing in bus stop and I don’t know the language. Then I said to myself If I have to live here I shall first learn the language then some education to work. Now I am here.

Something got into my stomach, but at the same time I felt how lucky I was. I was not born in a place torn by war or by poverty or by natural disaster. It doesn’t mean nothing could happen in future. It simply means so far so good. I sit here and cry about my rat race failures: the guy next to me bought a house or got promoted or got ....,what not, while there are millions and millions of people who aren’t sure of the next day (and even if it happens it means nothing to them). I am not talking about getting complacency or renunciation of worldly desire or the emotional black mail ( you are in a better position than them). The thing that I am trying to drive to myself is: Life is not fair. Lot of things happens; you attribute it to chaos, probability or the God. But move on. That lady tried four times to escape and got and finally landed in a country with no money, no language. Now she is self standing women with a caring husband and nice kid. Yes, she is still tormented by her memories, but she never surrendered to it. She had her kept her spirits high. The spirit, the life, keeping it alive is the activity one is supposed to do. It’s what living is all about. Everyone has a way of doing it. Its not the end result, he gets in it that keeps his spirit, it is the process of doing it. The end result is a tiny moment. The process, the means, that’s where we spend most of our time. If you are not happy about it, it doesn’t matter what you get at end. Lot of things can decide how it turns it out but nothing stops u from doing it except you.

மீண்டும்

2008-10-05T16:20:00.000-07:00

சொன்னதையே சொல்லி, பேசியதியே பேசி,
நேரத்தை நீட்டி, காலத்தை கரைத்து,
கடல் தாண்ட முடியாது -என தெரிந்தாலும்,
கரை கலக்கும் முயற்சியிலே வாழ்க்கையை கானும் அலையாய் -
கண் மூடி,
உலகம் உறங்குவதாய் நினைத்துகொள்வது கூட சுகம் தான்.
உடைந்த கண்ணாடியில்,
பெருகும் பிம்பமாய் என்னுள் நீ.

p.s:
நீண்ட காலமாய், தமிழில் எதுவும் எழுதவில்லை. எதவாது எழுதியே தீரவேண்டும் என் முடிவு செய்த பொழுது, ஒரு காதல் கவிதை எழுத முடிவு செய்த காரணம், சுலபமாக செய்யக்கூடியது அதுவாக மட்டுமே பட்டது.

He is not the one

2008-09-14T15:10:00.000-07:00

Most often, when we run into old friends accidentally, once initial exuberance is over, we find out he is not the person with whom we laughed at the world. There is a lot changed in him. One such incident is the opening scene of the film Almodóvar’s Bad Education.

Filmmaker Enrique, is in a ‘creative crisis’, running into newspaper for inspiration’s, to make a story. There is a knock on the door. His assistant opens it. A person introduces himself as Ignacio, an aspiring actor who wants to meet Enrique. The assistant tries to avoid him by saying there is not any project now. He stresses that Enrique is his school friend. Assistant tells Enrique, the guy name is Ignacio. Enrique rushes to receive him. Ignacio explains his reason for visit. He is now a stage actor, looking for an entry into film industry. Enrique asks him was he not writing any more. Ignacio gives him the last story, he wrote, which stems based on what happened to them in their school days, and a fictional follow up of what happens when they meet after so many years. He asks Enrique to read it, saying he may find some inspiration. I will do, Enrique says and stands up to indicate meeting is over. Ignacio wants to hang around, so he asks can I help you with something. Enrique says it’s not needed and takes him to the door. The initial jubilation is not there, there is a kind of professionalism in his tone as he walks his old school friend to the door. His assistant asks whether he wants to use him, it looked to him he enjoyed talking to him. Enrique says, it’s highly erotic to see an aspiring actor looking for chance and that’s why he talked to him so long. He concludes by saying he was his first lover.

He is not seeing the same Ignacio, he saw, fallen in love with, and stood for, in his school days. After some time, while he is ready to do that film, he wants Ignacio to do the role of grown up Enrique. But Ignacio wants to do the role of grown up Ignacio, which is a transsexual character which will give him the break he looks for. Enrique tells him, he is no longer that Ignacio.

As story unfolds, we get into the complex web of incidents and characters: A story, within the story which in turn flash backs to past true incidents, involving Boy-boy relationship, pederasty priest, what not. Surprise element lurks in every corner. One such is Enrique discovers that Ignacio is dead and the impostor is Ignacio’s brother. But even long before, on the very first meeting itself, Enrique felt so, now its just he knew it.

Rocking Moment

2008-09-02T22:30:00.000-07:00

I watched 'rock on' without subtitles. My Hindi knowledge is limited to contextual meaning. With that, speaking about Rock on is not such a great idea. I liked the movie. May be if I had known the language, I might have appreciated it more. There are several moments of brilliance. But each one is followed by too much of ‘typical Hindi film’ as if for every good thing he did the director want to balance with run of the mill stuff. The movie could have been in a different echelon if it has not had those ‘compensatory’ (like the post movie sequences showing they lived so happily or the brain tumor track).
This is more about a particular scene .The back-story: Joe, Aditya, rob and KD are friends and rock is the thread that connects them. They have a band, named ‘magik’. They participate in a rock competition and win the deal to do an album. Aditya and Joe are the thick friends in the band. Debbie is Joe’s girl friend and fashion design is her passion. During the album shoot out things turn bad and friends break up. Times pass, KD is into his fathers business, Rob is into film music, and Aditya is a successful investment banker. Joe is a man unable to compromise with reality and lives a life of a ‘failure’ creative guy. Debbie, his wife, is running his ‘god damned family business’.
Sakshi, Aditya’s wife, comes to know about his past and sensing, in spite of his success, he is not having ‘life’, forces him to join with his friends. Now they are back as band having ‘good old time’ in Aditya’s luxurious house. While talking to Joe about the new offer she could get for him, Debbie finds about the revival of magik. She asks him to come out, pointing out the kid and their future. Now Debbie goes to meet Aditya to speak on this.
Debbie waits in Aditya’s house. The house is clear indication of richness. Debbie is sitting in a chair on the verge of seat as if intimidated by it’s grandeur. Sakshi comes to welcome her. They are meeting for first time. Debbie says congratulations. Sakshi see’s her stomach and says thanks. Debbie says 'your face is bright'. This shot is an indication, to show their family is on sweet ride. Because on the very first scene where Aditya and Sakshi where speaking about sakshi's plan for aditya birthday, she is sitting in the cot, he is in shower.Aditya says lets go out to eat alone as he has work to do.Then he comes out and start to sleep exhausted by his work. Sakshi cuddles him from back and go to sleep.
Aditya jubilantly welcomes Debbie. Debbie, the women who dreamt of becoming a fashion designer but now maintaining a fish business, with neither time to crave for past nor to dream for future as her hands are full of present, is sitting in a house which has a fountain in hall, in front of her yester year friend who is now financially as successful as she might want to be. With a remarkably well played emotions she tells him, he was a ‘creative rebel’ and now a successful business man with a nice wife and beautiful house.
This shot spawns out a tangential story to the main film giving a beautiful completion to the character, Debbie.

fooled by randomness

2008-08-31T18:57:00.000-07:00

“Fooled by randomness” by Nissim Nicholas Taleb is an interesting read. It tries to explain the role of chance in life, more through the example of market. In the course it speaks about probability, skewness, odd, expectation, mean vs. median- what not. The book is written in entertaining manner bringing lot of laugh and thinking. One may agree or disagree with the book, but surely it will make the reader to contemplate. A book can never change a person’s view of life on a single read. (That’s why I stay away from self guide and motivational genre.)But what, a worth a read, will do is resurfacing itself at several places showing how true it was. This book is worth a read.

Trying to explain what this book speaks is not an easy thing, but let me try to point out the ones that pops out after a week (Time is a good filter to remove the noise).

1. If we have sufficient number of monkeys knowing to hit typewriter, then there is a possibility one monkey might produce an Iliad, but it doesn’t mean it will make another epic. More the people, more the chance, the so called success to be a pure random event.

2. If there is an urn with 50 white and 50 red balls, more the red ball you take out less the chance of drawing a red ball on next draw. So in a way past history has a negative co relation in predicting future.

3. Whatever be the number of white swans you see, it is not sufficient to say all swans are white. It just need 1 black swan to say swan can be black.

4. Random thing can decide the outcome but not the way you see it or react to it. This is the important thing that made me to appreciate the book. Means, not the ends that matter. As Nissim says “The only article lady Fortuna has no control is your behavior”

felix qui potuit cognoscere causas

2008-08-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

This weekend one of my friends is entering into wedlock. He was my room mate in my final year of college. Any friend's marriage is news to be elated and his marriage has more reasons to cherish. It’s a five years love journey hitting up a milestone a.k.a marriage. Before that they were close friends for four years. It is one of the classic college day’s stories where the love lying low in the waters' of friendship surface up under the sudden revelation of getting separated. Well five years gone by and now they enter into matrimony, I toast for their happy married life.

Love in all forms and colors happening around -who chose not declare the love as it won't culminate as marriage because of socio-family reasons, who declared it and withdrawn either not being able to fight up against those forces, or saying it was a wrong call, who declared and reached a milestone and then decided it is not what they thought and also the one who fit into the last line of the fairy tales we love to hear. It’s really a beautiful thing to see people in love, being in the room or conversing with them. Faces brimming with joy. Oh man… life is so beautiful through their eyes.

Love is too fickle. It takes a great skill and art to make it luminous. Sometimes in this journey love simply passes away as the fume that escapes from the candle. Love is a necessary thing. It’s the elixir; hope and reason. That's why most people fall in love in moments of solitude than while surrounded by clamor. It’s a momentary feel. If one dissects it, it will masquerade. In certain things ignorance is bliss and happy doesn't lie in knowing the things behind... The only way of being in love is madly in love.

I got this in email: Life ends when U stop dreaming, Hope ends when U stop believing, Love ends when U stop caring, Friendship ends when U stop sharing. I ask, "I care for my friends and don't 'u in love' share with your loved ones?”

weekend blues

2008-08-16T20:57:00.000-07:00

When I don't know what I want to do, isn't better to do something to prove someone rather than brooding on what I want?

----------------------

During the moments of Saturday night, staring on gtalk looking for some one to pop up,sending "hi hru" , asking carefully chosen questions on location, climate, life, weekend plans, hearing and saying, 'my social life is becoming void.....", somewhere in my ear Tennyson screams loud, "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all"

weekend

2008-08-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

I write in this space only if I had something to write and the whole world conspires to say it. But now I am writing as I want to write something. Reason , you will find it 2 posts below. I am sitting in by med with laptop, in a place where it's name suggests it should be, in a room filled with heat waves, hoping someday I'll get my magic touch ...........

This weekend I watched three movies (well that's what I do on most weekends).Jaane tu ya Jaane na is a feel good movie on college day love. The movie started well. But as it progressed i could no longer be with the film. Things looked predictable. Later when I thought about it , the movie had all the things I used to enjoy. It was sweet, beautiful and romantic. I wonder I am hitting the age circle where I could no longer empathetic with a feel good college day romantic movie, where every one is as good as one wish and life is nothing but youthful exuberance. Am I getting romantically challenged?

children of heaven is an Iranian film, which revolves around 2 poor kids. The story: Ali miss his little sister shoe while bringing from repair shop. His mother is ill and his father is finding difficult to meet the ends with his salary. So he tells his sister not to tell to dad and they will workout themselves. The story then goes on about how they manage with the Ali's shoe and Ali's constant attempts to get her sister a new pair of shoe. The movie is filled with nothing but poverty , but there is no scene or dialogue of melodrama and most of the time movie moves through the eyes of the 2 kids. The way the story unfolds and the scene moves i felt the movie is more a poem than a movie. Romanticization of distress and poverty like 'life is beautiful', 'the barn'..

Rear window- 'the' Hitchcock movie. The hero is a famous photographer and he is in his room with his leg broken . He develops a habit of watching the adjacent houses through his rear window. By this he suspects a salesman living in apartment opposite to his house has killed his wife and what follows is told in an engaging manner.The way Hitchcock establishes each character and the indifference with which he builds the tension of the viewer, makes the movie a great watch.

Does Time makes it?

2008-07-24T21:58:00.000-07:00

It is the first day after summer holidays. Classes are bustling with noises. Students are in their new class room. Guys, who are lucky enough to maintain their coterie, are making up for all the talks missed during summer. The air is filled with narrations of truth and fantasies. In the room full of fun and hope there sits a guy in the last bench more introvert with an eye that doesn't conceal he is not part of the party. He is staring through the window. Some sit next to him. They know he was retained in that class. They whisper among themselves as if to not distract him. As hours progress someone calls him: " anna". He starts to talk reluctantly. They give respect and asks him on the new teachers, how to cajole or dodge them. He catches the widening eyes of them as he answers. The new superiority brings smile to his lips and an proud to his eyes. Deep inside, he may even enjoy his failure, for what it gives now. Or is it just his soul found a way to condone its failures? Even if he fails next year its just matter of few hours of gloom, till someone in the class calls him , "anna.."

It's just a matter of time to start saying, "Honestly dear, I don't give a damn..."

on writing

2008-07-17T21:15:00.000-07:00

It is high time since I wrote on what I am reading. The primary reason nothing triggered me to write about it. It doesn't mean I ended up in wrong books. Most of them were either competitive or good, but not lingering enough. I read the recent best selling authors earlier works or consecutive works of same author. The first book impresses me and the second one started to show patterns. The only book I didn't finish and left in middle (actually I didn't read even one tenth :) )is Umberto Eco's Baudolino. the book is not compelling enough and also I had some other things to do. I am planning to read The Name of the Rose or Foucault's Pendulum.

The latest reading is 'on Writing' by Stephen King.Through the book Stephen King speaks to the reader about his life instances which groomed him as writer, what he did and how he did? Then he speaks more about what a potential writer shall do and lastly what writing is all about. The greatest strength about the book is it never becomes didactic. The important things he repeats are :
1. Write in active not in passive
2. Avoid adverb
3. Read a LOT and write a LOT. Do them with discipline
4. Don't wait for big story. Keep writing , the story and magical touch will come.
5. Don't bother on symbolism, theme, style , plot bla blas.. first tell the story.. allow the story to grow on its own. It will chose its own theme , style etc..on the course. On a subconscious level you will be telling what you want to tell.
6. Give a break, get back to story now bring in all you needed(theme, allusion etc..) and make sure to reduce the word count at least by 10%.
7. Give to your ideal reader. Get feedback and harness it.

The book is an interesting and must read for any one who thinks about writing.

Dasavatharam

2008-06-15T22:16:00.000-07:00

I am on phone. She knew I have been to Dasavtharam and I have admiration for Kamal.
How is Dasavatharam?
mmm... Its Ok..
Not good?
Not like that.. but most of the people who came with me didn't like it...
Hi.. tell me whether you liked it or not?

We go to a theatre and film starts. It may make us to think, laugh or cry (sometimes to look into watch). But ultimately what matters is does it engross us? It is immaterial what happened before, under what conditions its coming out. But on other side when a man ventures into what have not been done and have passion and love for what he does and veers of the target or miscalculates it , it still needs some applause, at least some pat in back. That's why I don't have an simple yes or no for that question .

On almost every frames there is a technical brilliance. Most of the shots have more than 1 Kamal on the screen and between them there is a visible physical difference. And for the first time in a Tamil film, technology is not on face and blends into movie. Unless we sit and and think it never strikes how much graphics, camera etc... has gone into that shot. Will it work out commercially? I don't know, because , if you want to sell it you should have it bold and italicized (It was not surprising when I hear why this movie consumed so much of money? )

Graphics hovers between 'too good' to 'bad' in several places. But considering the fact what it was trying to replicate the graphics was good. Makeup also follows the path of graphics. There is "balramnaidu" for us to praise the make up and also "kalif ulla" to leave a bad taste.

Kamals' acting notched up few new territories. As the face is plastered with dough, he shows all the difference just with the eyes and body language. Let it be villain or the old lady in the climax or the balram naidu or kalif ulla- infront of the hospital or rangaraja nambi, Kamal soars high .

Dialogues were good. It looks as if written by Sujatha and Crazy Mohan. There is no ingenuity except Kamal's speech in Nehru stadium. But dialogues are good, rib tickling, thought provoking and also witty.

Now the big question. The question what every one means when they ask how is a movie? : " What is the story and how is it told? ". I saw an NDTV interview in which Kamal rated himself less for acting and proclaimed, he is one of the best in industry when it comes to script writing. If one has to validate that statement only with Dasavatharam, (there are movies which makes me to to nod for what he said), I wonder what he means by screenplay. To start with he has a wafer thin story, hero wants to destroy a bio weapon (a vial) and the villain want to have it. Well Gilli too had a story of cat and mouse chase. But the difference is in the way it was told. Here everything happens by coincidence (chaos or 'Gods plan' depends on what controls your thoughts-is it Science or God ). But for a screenplay it never works , for a simple reason, no one does anything and everything is under the control of probability which never engages the viewer and pushes him to backseat.

That is the reason why even if one of the best things happened in Tamil film industry , the 12th century sequence, losses all it charms when a viewer asks why is it needed in the film. First comes need then the presentation , but Kamal got it topsy -turvy. Whatever crossed his mind found a place in the movie. I wondered why there is a jail riot in virumandi, why so much talk like a radio drama in Anbe Sivam and now I wonder why there is Dasavatharam ?

If we look into most of the Kamal interviews there will be a agony and a pain of the man who has to fight for everything he has to do. He always says he don't want to waste time for the question if he is ahead of time. May be he feels he has lot to tell and clock is ticking. I am never good in public pulse . More often my feel for a film and commercial results where in opposite direction. If Dasavtharam becomes commercially hit, I will be more than happy for the fact that 'HE' deserves a success though not for this but for all the anbe sivam,aalavandhan and virumandi's. But the better the quicker if he understands the boundary of "too much".

why is it so infrequent

2008-06-08T14:34:00.000-07:00

The movie was running in sci-fi channel. I don't know the movie name and it is one of the movies that they make 'in house'. Something horrible happened in her past and probably she is sitting there to think about what next but ends up in thinking about what happened and how it could be thwarted. When the director pitched it should have been like this: The lady is sitting on the banks of a stream. The place is serene. She picks up the pebble and throw in to the slow moving stream. It ripples and gets lost into numerous pebbles lying below. She picks up another and over time she just swings her hand there is no pebble in her hand and her eye is lost into horizon with the empty hand drawing an slowly moving arc on air which forms a poetic picturization in the viewers eye. But what we see is through the eyes of a camera which fails to focus what it shall focus and a face which has no clue on what it does and we end up in seeing a person who sits on a place for reasons she don't know and do things just because she had been asked to do.

But this happens quite often, something which looks so beautiful in mind but when started to put in action tatters and looks like, “பிள்ளையார் பிடிக்க போய் குரங்கு பிடிச்ச கதையாய்” When I am about to bed or when I wake up in middle of night or in the morning hours when one have time and wish to sleep and sleep eludes, something forms in mind, which looks so impeccable with all pieces of the puzzle in place . But as time slips and when I log in to transmit what is in the brain to to the tips of finger, somewhere in the channel it gets distorted. Sometimes I may miss the magic line, sometimes it looks things just not in order or out of context.....

Unlike that director I don't have deadlines so I press the delete button instead of publish button.

Thats it

2008-06-06T20:17:00.000-07:00

I was playing,
throwing the dice,
Counting the numbers,
moving the coin ,
smiling on hitting the ladder and
crying when stung by snake.

I smile for stings on knowing
neither can I chose the number nor quit the game :)

வாழ்வியல்கள்-2

2008-04-16T21:17:00.000-07:00

மறைத்து,

மரத்து,

மறந்தே போகின்றன,

வாழ்தலுக்கான காரணங்கள்...

பிறத்தலுக்கும் இறத்தலுக்குமான

இடைவெளியை இருத்தலில்.

வாழ்வியல்கள்-1

2008-04-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

எதோ ஒரு புள்ளியில் இணைத்துவிடலாம் என்று

இழுக்கபடுகின்றன எல்லா சக்கரங்களும்....

தண்டவாளங்கள் இணைவதாய் தெரிவது

காட்சிபிழை என்பது புரியும்வரை...

idle brain

2008-04-11T17:03:00.000-07:00

சொல்லவா

சொல்லா மல்

செல்ல வா, பதில்

சொல்ல வா,

செல்ல மே......

class blood

2008-03-30T22:35:00.000-07:00

I am planning to write about something. As usual after turning on laptop I started to browse and ended up in this line.

Eugene O’Neill said, "The people who succeed and do not push on to a greater failure are the spiritual middle-classers."

Comments ?????

பீமா

2008-01-20T11:01:00.000-08:00

நீண்ட இடைவெளிக்கு பிறகு எழுதுகிறேன். இடமாற்றம் இடைவெளி ஏற்படுத்தும் என்பது எதிர்பார்த்ததுதான். ஆனால் இவ்வளவு நீண்ட இடைவெளி எதிர்பாராதது. என்ன காரணம் என எழுதலாமா? எனக் கூட யோசித்தேன். எல்லா காரணமும் சிறிய கேள்விக்கு உட்படுத்தின்னாலே அபத்தமாக தோன்றியது. வாழ்க்கை என்பதே எல்லா திட்டமிடல்களையும், எதிர்பார்ப்புகளையும் தூக்கி எறிந்து எக்காளமிடும் அபத்தங்களின் கலவையாக தெரிகிறது. மிகவும் யோசித்து நகர்த்த படும் காய்களை விட, எதோ நிகழ்தகவுக்கு உட்பட்டு கட்டையில் விழும் எண்களே பெரும்பாலான ஆட்டங்களின் முடிவுகளை தீர்மானிக்கறது, ஆனாலும் தாயக்கரம் தொடர்ந்து விளையாடபடுவதர்க்கு காரணம் இந்த 'திட்டமிடல்களே'. இப்படி பட்ட அபத்தங்களுக்கும் , கணிப்புகளுக்கும் இடையே நடக்கும் ஒரு பரமபதம் தான் 'பீமா'.

கடைசி வரி படித்து விட்டு புருவம் உயர்த்துபவர்களுக்கு சில disclaimers:
பீமா - பல குறைகள் கொண்ட, தன்னை எந்த வரிசைக்குள் நுழைப்பது என்ற கேள்விக்கு விடை தெரியமால் தடுமாறி, 2.30மணி நேர நிரப்பல், குத்து பாட்டு போன்றவற்றின் முறையற்ற மசாலா கலவை. படதின் ஆரம்பத்தில் இந்த ஓட்டைகள் பிரம்மாண்டமாகவே தெரிகிறது. எழுந்து போய் விடலாமா எனக் கூட யோசித்தேன். ஆனால் இடைவெளியின் போது படம் கிட்டதட்ட ஒரு கோட்டுக்கு வந்திருந்தது. இது வரை நான் தமிழில் இது போன்ற முழு நீழ action படம் பார்க்கவில்லை என்றே தோன்றியது. விக்ரமின் சிறந்த body languageயும் நல்ல தொழில்நுட்பமும் நிறைந்த சண்டை காட்சிகளை காட்ட உதவவேண்டும் என்ற ஒற்றைக் குறிக்கோளுடன் உருவாக்கப் பட்ட திரைக்கதையாக தெரிந்தது.

ஆனால் ஒட்டுமொத்தமாக , சில அழகிய காட்சிகளும், கொஞ்சம் subtleties யும் கொண்ட வரவேற்கதக்க படமாய் தெரிவதற்கு முக்கிய காரணம் படதின் பின்பகுதி. காதல் வயபடுகின்ற நொடியில் நிகழும் கவன சிதறல்களின் பக்க விளைவுகள் காட்ட பட்ட விதமும், விக்ரம் பிரிந்து செல்கின்ற தருணத்தில் பிரகாஷ் ராஜ் தன் மனைவியிடம் சொல்கிற வசனமும் படத்தின் ரசிக்கதக்க தருணங்களில் சில.

படம் பார்த்து ஒரு நாள் கழித்தும் என்னுள் இருக்கும் ஒரு மிக பெரிய கேள்வி: படத்தின் முடிவு வேறு மாதிரியாக இருந்திருந்தால் எந்த அளவுக்கு இந்த படத்தை ரசித்து இருப்பேன்? படத்தின் குறைகள் தாண்டியும் என்னை படம் ஈர்த்ததுக்கு காரணம் துன்ப இயல்கள் மேல் எனக்கு இருக்கும் ஒரு 'romantic attachmentஆ?' இல்லை என்றே தோன்றுகிறது. காரணம்: முடிவு படதிற்கு ஒரு முற்றுத் தன்மையை தருகிறது. கடைசி பாடலுக்கும் முன் படம் முடிவதற்கு வாய்ப்பு இருக்கிறது(வியாபர கட்டாயங்களுக்கு படம் விரைவில் திருத்தப்பட்டால் ஆச்சரியம் இல்லை). ஆனால் பல விடையற்ற கேள்விகளுடன் படம் முடிந்திருக்கும். அதைவிட முக்கியம், படதின் இறுதி காட்சி 'வாழ்க்கை' எல்லா திட்டமிடல்களையும் மிதித்து செல்லும் அபத்தங்களின் juggernaut என்பதை கோடிடுகிறது.

P.S: விக்ரமின் நடிப்பு மிகவும் பிரமாதம். மிகவும் தொய்வான முற்பகுதியை அதுதான் தாங்கி நிற்கிறது.

Alcatraz

2007-11-05T21:05:00.000-08:00

It happened while I was in my primary classes. We visited Thiruchi and visited Srirangam, travelling over the big iron bridge over the vast sand dunes. My dad was telling me that this place used to flood and Srirangam is in the middle of water , like an island. (But I visualized Cauveri flooding with water only when I was reading the first chapter of Ponniyan selvan.) Back in school one day was teacher was teaching about peninsula, island and I wrote srirangam as an example for Island. The teacher scowled at me for it. I wished I would bring her to Alcatraz and show her the name plate that showed "Alcatraz Island".

Alcatraz technically qualifies to be an island as it is surrounded by water, but actually it is just the tip of an rock, whose total size is 20+ acres. Lot of things happened in this place just like on any other piece of land on this earth.But its mostly known for the jail it had, might be because it was the last of the biggest things to happen there. There was an self guided audio tour to help to walk through the jail. The audio tour was nicely crafted with supposedly voices of the wardens, jailer, prisoners etc and with the screeching sounds of the cell gates.

We were walking through one of the aisles, it has the cells opposite each of them there was a small glass window. They were supposedly the brightest cells, as there was a grilled wall above the glass panel. Through the glass window one can watch the San Francisco. The Freeland that is so near, but still so far. In the background the voice of one of the prisoner is reeling, " we could hear the voices of celebration, happening, new year sounds, sounds of girls giggling...". That was the moment I realised what 'JAIL' means. the biggest punishment of all was seeing the freedom in front of ones eyes and still not able to enjoy it. How cruel it would be?

When we started the tour , we were talking about the statement in the pamphlet. Food, shelter medicine will be provided. Everything else is privilege. My friend was asking what else one need. I got the answer when I was viewing the beautiful landscape through the glass panel.
I was wondering whether is this a bliss compared to be locked in dark cell or is this the cruelest punishment where the roaring waves and the sky scrapping buildings on the other side of the water teases you about what you miss. Not surprisingly most of the tour was about various failed attempts made to escape. Well that's one of the basic urge of an human to be free. Whatever be the dangers that lie ahead it can't stop the man's innate urge to be free.

attempt-2

2007-10-16T20:53:00.000-07:00

It could have been another sunny day except for the grey coloured clouds which like a hollow brick blocked the sun rays. I am sitting inside a not so crowded bus and looking at the sky.

Will it rain? Here, it either rains or cloudy. There is a dampness everywhere. Heck..

Is umbrella in my bag?

Last time it rained and i kept my umbrella in the common area to not wet my office space. Did I take it back?

No...

Yes.... I took it. I remember carrying it and running to catch the evening bus.

No this happened week before that. During last rain, the evening was quite sunny and I was having a relaxed walk with my colleague till bus stop... A pleasant weather for which I was longing..

May be I have to check it in office ....

Oh.. I have to drop the rent cheque. Its still in my bag.. Its already a week late.

It all because of the issue in office. Sometimes I am just staring at the results paper as if it will disclose something which is hiding behind all those numbers. What all I need is deus ex machina ...

shit....How long I am staring this man? When did he take this seat? I just looked into the bus. Bus is almost full. I smiled at him. He was tall well built guy in a shabby clothes. There is mild liquor smell over him.

"Where are you from?"

I am from alameda. May be I should have told him India. That's what he might want to know.

"I am from ....... I used to play basketball in college" and he pointed the logo in t-shirt. "This place is always raining and more crowded..Back there..."

I am having little trouble in following his accent. It is more rhotic and cocky. His eyes are fixed at me. He is asking something.

" Why are you here?"

mm..I got a ...

He continued not waiting for my answer. "We have to be somewhere and this is not so bad place.."

The stop had come so I ran to get down and it started to drizzle. But I have to be somewhere and this is not so bad....

சுயம்

2007-09-03T10:44:00.000-07:00

பையன்,

தம்பி,

அண்ணன்,

மாமன்,

தோழன்,

சகபணியாளன்,

அறைவாசி,

அரைவாசி- என

எல்லோரிடமும் இருக்கிறது,

எனக்கான பெயர். இன்னும்

எனக்கு மட்டும் கிடைக்கவில்லை,

எனக்கான என் பெயர்.

Attempt-1

2007-08-11T14:09:00.000-07:00

I arrived at the station at twilight, 15 minutes ahead of the time, I told my friend. I called my friend before I started.

“Dei, I’ll be there sometime around 7.30. It depends on which train I board. But surely between 7.15 to 7.45”

“OK da, I’ll come to pick you up at 7.30, if you reach there early call me”

When every one takes it for granted about the availability of mobile it is mandatory for those who don’t have to declare it up-front.

“Can I call your number using pay phone?”

“You can call da”

I put back the receiver, jotted his number in a paper and rushed for the door. If I miss the shuttle, it will delay my schedule further.

In the deserted station, I am looking for phone booth. They are placing it in a corner as if now one might need it or so as to provide privacy for the caller from the traffic getting in and out of the train.

A guy in torn, greased t-shirt and jean, looking as if it was long time since he had a bath or combed his hair, is walking towards me with a bag in his hand. I always get an uncomfortable feel to have eye contact with these people. What if it reminds him his condition and if he see me as an embodiment of what he don’t have? I look like a person sitting under a tree and opening his lunch box, praying no crow up in the tree shit in it and fly…

I saw the phone and moved towards as if to dodge him. Then I remember I had placed the phone number inside my purse, I have to take it. Voices swirl inside my head

“Don’t walk alone in dark; don’t carry much cash in purse”

“If someone sees you take purse and ask you, hand it over. Who knows, anyone will have a gun there…”

I am in a confusion to take it out or not. Don’t want to turn and see where he is. I have a feeling he is in my back.

He asks me something, showing something, from the bag. I turn slightly towards him and raise my head to a level good enough as if responding but not high enough to see his face and mumbles something which sounds like not needed or no cash or simple no with my head swaying horizontally and my hand still inside pocket holding the purse…
He walks away. I see the bag in his hand, which has fanta, axe etc..

As I take the phone number I remember I brought a different bag today as I have to carry more items and the coins are left in other bag.

I moved towards the place where my friend asked me to wait. I have 15 minutes. My brain started to fill with desolateness, poverty, communism, capitalism, comrades……

Harry Potter

2007-07-30T20:22:00.000-07:00

It might be after Half blood prince release or sometime before it, I started to read Harry potter. It all started on a casual chat. One of my friend is a fan of HP series an we were kidding him because he was not appreciating some of Tamil novels which we liked. His reason was their style was archaic and so we are laughing at the usage "You-Know-Who". Then I thought why should not I give a try?. I finished Philosophers' stone and my opinion was its a good book to read , but one doesn't miss much if he doesn't read it. I am still wondering what made me to read the second part and third .... (may be divine intervention, if I am not speaking about JKR works, who explained all those lucky breaks not with God but with Love). I loved the conversation between Harry and Dumbledore or the speech that Dumbledore makes towards the end of each part, but for that not much to say....

Then I landed up on the third part. First it was the concept behind dementors Vs Patronus charm. The organism which lives by sucking out of all happiness and drive people to insanity by keeping them in depression. How can you win them? Patronus charm, an embodiment of one's innermost positive feelings, the desire to survive. There are books in which the reader has to use all his hope to turn every page. Those are the books whose last chapter was read by none other than the proof reader of that book. Then are those in which the reader breathes only when he finishes the last page where protagonist invariably runs for life not knowing from whom he is running. These are really interesting books to read as they engulf the reader so much. Till that moment HP was that kind of book to me. But there is one more type, which won't make you to turn the page quickly but make you to halt at a line or at a page. It make you to think about something happened . They will be shouting inside the readers brain for long time to come. I think this is the instant where HP moved to this bracket for me.

The goblet of fire ends with a death which makes the starting point for the future deaths. I personally feels this is the point where the story really started to move towards what it was all about (which becomes more clear in the last part). The impact of death and what death actually means that's what the novel is more about . The last 4 volumes speaks on this, sometimes subtly, sometimes loudly.

Another thing that made me to hook with the book is the chemistry between Hermione, Ron and Harry. Every character that comes in the book was etched so nicely. This is the main reason which made people to hook with the book. The success of a writer lies in the empathy the reader feels with the characters, or they way reader identifies himself with a character in a novel. The plot, story are secondary. That's why I could remember more dialogues than the spells. To put in other way the thing which glued me to the book is the greatest magic which Voldemort had no idea about .

Before reading deathly hallows, the part that I liked most was order of phoenix, because it was more about emotion than about magic, the Sirius death is the peak. Some may say I love tragedy, but to be honest Half blood prince is more tragic than its predecessor. In that Dumbledore & co lose more than they gain. They end up in a fake horcrux and lost their captain, whereas Voldemort becomes more powerful. So its not because of tragedy or a losers soul which find solace in someones failure but because of empathy one feel on seeing how difficult it is to stand for something which most do not believe, the importance of friends who can understand and stand by you in the darkest hours of the night . The order of phoenix is not much about good Vs evil but much about doing easy thing Vs Right thing.

Half blood prince is more about past and horcrux. The idea of horcrux is nothing newer than the "அரக்கன்" who keeps his life in an parrot guarded in someplace behind seven hills. But what it means, what makes a person to protect his soul , becomes clear in last part. Horcrux or hallows, no matter what you chose, you may survive but can't LIVE.

In deathly hallows for the people who follow HP there are no surprises, except that of Dumbledore's past, which too looks like what we see in most Hollywood style movies and novels, a protagonist with disturbed past, with the urge to overcome the survivors guilt. But we are once again completely taken over by JKR power of imagination and the interconnections across different parts. Who might have thought "Young Sirius Black lent it to me" has any significance other than to catch a child's fantasy by writing about a flying motorbike. JKR's writings may be of literary quality or not, but everyone will accept the fact that she is a master in toying with reader emotions. That's why we are getting a sense of relief and not a kind of banality when harry repeatedly escapes by sheer luck and Voldemort always reaches the place after harry left . I really enjoyed the moment when harry calls Voldemort by the name Tom Riddle. Dumbledore calls like that in one of the earlier encounters.

But what makes one to think about this book again and again is the way it speaks about life and death. I could not help but to think about Ayn Rand after reading harry potter. I still wonder what makes these two authors' work, as most close to my heart, though they represent the two different ends of a line. If History is different and JKR was before Ayn, Ayn Rand, might surely scoffed at a book which spends reams and reams of paper just to show that the only possible way to survive is not invincible skill or the skill to bring back lost or creating more of us but the skill to remain hidden. This is a story which speaks about the victory of selflessness , complete surrender , 'too weak to dare' over an ' self -made ' chauvinist. A man loses the duel not because of less skill but because , "he does not value, he takes no trouble to comprehend, Of house-elves and children’s tales- of love, loyalty, and innocence" . What makes " the boy who survived" to survive is not his possession of the "invincible wand " or the power to bring back dead, but his decision to embrace death and the cloak which makes him invisible. He gets the more powerful tools only when he knew "enough to not to use them".

But the fact is I liked both books. I felt something close to my heart which I am unable to put in words. May be both these writers are so good (interestingly both are female writers) in fiddling with emotions and both speak about same thing, living for what one believe , against powerful opponents with the help of small crowd which believe in him. Well there may be thousands of story on this premise, but what makes these special is the way these characters are shown. The Personification.

பூங்குன்றன்+இளங்கோ

2007-07-04T18:55:00.000-07:00

நீர்வழிப் படுஉம் புணைபோல்,
வாழ்தல் வேண்டி,
ஊழ்வினை துரப்ப,
ஆருயிர் முறைவழிப் படுஉம்.

தம் பிடித்து..:)

2007-06-24T16:50:00.000-07:00

நித்தம்
ரத்தம்
சிந்தும்
யுத்தம்,
சித்தம்
பித்தம் ஆக்கியதே...

ண்ணாங்கிறேன் :)

2007-06-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

என்
மண்,
பொன்,
பண்,
நான்,
வீண்
உன்
முன்
கண் ணம்மா....

SOLITUDE

2007-06-19T21:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt the pang that occurs when you are going to take the first bite of your food sitting alone in a table in cafeteria or hotel while all other tables have more than one occupancy or while eating the food you cooked for yourself in your room (forget home , it doesn't qualify to be house too...) with the television or laptop on?

The most ill-fated habit a person can have is thinking about the meaning of His Life or the direction its heading when he is chewing his first bite of his food. It never get swallowed...

சிவாஜி

2007-06-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

சில படங்கள் பார்க்கும் வரை நன்றாக இருக்கும். முடித்து வந்தால் கொஞ்சம் கொஞ்சமாக அதன் மேலிருக்கும் பிரேமை குறையும். சிவாஜியும் அப்படித்தான். பார்க்கும் நேரத்தில் சிரித்து மகிழ்ந்தேன். style-இல் எனை மறந்தேன், பாடல்களின் பிரம்மாண்டத்தில் விழி விரித்தேன். ஆனால் படம் முடிந்து யோசித்தால் படம் வெரும் கேலிக்கூத்தாக தெரிந்தது. சங்கர் 'சந்திரசேகர் பட்டறையில் இருந்து வந்தவர். ரஜினி- அசாதாரணமான விசயங்களை மட்டுமே செய்ய வேண்டிய கட்டாயதில் இருப்பவர். நான் எதிர்பார்த்தது ஒரு குறைந்த பட்ச coherency. comedy, fight, style, நடுவில் எதோ கொஞ்சம் தொங்கி கொண்டிருக்கும் கதை என இருக்கிறது படம்.

தன் star imgae பற்றி எல்லாம் கவலை படாமல் comedy- இல் பின்னி இருக்கார் ரஜினி. "தம்பிக்கு எந்த ஊர்" ரஜினியை பார்த்த திருப்தி. அதேபோல் style-இல் பல ரஜினி படங்களுக்கு இது ஒன்று சமம். சங்கரின் பிரம்மாண்டம் ஒரு துளி கூட குறையவில்லை.

ஹவாலா மோசடிக்கு உடந்தையாக முஸ்லிம்களை, ஒரு பொழுதுபோக்கு படத்தில், காட்ட வேண்டியது, சில கேள்விகளை எழுப்புகிறது. அதே போலத்தான் கறுப்பு நிறம் சார்ந்த நகைச்சுவை காட்சிகளும்....

ஒரு இளைஞன் கனையாழி கடைசி பக்கதில்.. படத்தில் சம்பந்தமே இல்லாமல் வரும் காட்சிகளையும், அது சார்ந்த செலவுகளையும், ஒரு கெட்டவார்த்தை சேர்த்து "தடித்தனம்", எனச் சொன்னார். இந்த நிலைமையால் நான் 100 வருசதுக்கு சினிமா எடுக்க மாட்டேன் என்று கூடச் சொன்னார். வாழ்க்கை அவருக்கு தன் முதுமை காலத்தில் "சிவாஜி"க்கு வசனம் எழுத கற்று கொடுத்துள்ளது.....
சுஜாதா -உங்கள் வாழ்க்கையை திரும்பி பார்க்கும் பொழுது என்ன தோன்றுகிறது????

சிவாஜி பொழுது போக்காக இருக்கிறதா?-100% இருக்கிறது,
பார்க்கும் பொழுது ஒரு பார்வையாளனை தன் பிரச்சனைகளை மறந்து இருக்க செய்கிறதா-100%..
ரஜினி என்கிற மனிதனின் திறமைகளை பயன் படுத்தியுள்ளதா- 100%.
காலம் கடந்து சிவாஜி நிற்குமா? படம் பார்த்து முடித்து சில நாட்கள் கழித்து எதாவது ஒரு நொடியில் சிவாஜி நியாபகதிற்கு வருமா? ...எனக்கு 1% கூட நம்பிக்கை இல்லை.

Institutionalised

2007-06-01T23:49:00.000-07:00

I was watching "The shawshank redemption". In the movie there comes an explanation on the word "Institutionalised", which is "You hate it, then adjusted to it and finally fully depend on it."
Now I am able to much appreciate what I heard some time back "Marriage is an institution , which one can't avoid in our society".
What a succinct truth it is that an elderly family man could say..

சொற்களைத் தாண்டி

2007-05-29T19:42:00.000-07:00

எழுதி முடித்து பார்த்தால்,
சில சொற்கள் ஒதுங்கி நின்றன கவிதையில்..
எதிரில் வரிசையற்ற பற்கள் கொண்டவர்,
ஏதோ அழகாய் சொல்லி கொண்டிருந்தார்,
துருத்திய சொற்களை திருத்தாமலே
விட்டுவிட்டேன்.

Why it de-railed?

2007-05-28T22:08:00.001-07:00

When I watched Pachaikili muthucharam, i decided i shall read the original version : derailed -novel. The main reason was certain things were hanging out as unwanted appendage in movie. I was wondering why it was so? Is it because of story he took? Before speaking much on that I have to make some points clear.

Its really difficult to capture a novel into movie and it always disappoints the person who read the novel . There were certain things that makes the reader to love that novel and they might be simply cut in movie or the visualization of that never matches reader imagination. Even the best movies (critically acclaimed and commercially successful)were just close to the novels, they were never better than the novel, at least for me. Saying this, I never rated a movie based on what it tries to replicate. I have liked the movies which claims to be based on real life incident or based on novel and deviated much from them but still enjoyable one. I see them essentially as another creative output and as an independent entity.

Derailed is not a great novel. Its not a worse novel, but the problem is it was too ambitious. An novel is not just a collation of incidents. In our childhood , when someone tells us stories, we like to hear the story from the person who adds lot of color to the story than from the person who just states (may be narrates) the incident. Well James Siegel is not just narrating, he has included lot of sub-plots, some moments to stand still and cherish, but the problem is he has introduced lot of complications in the story, and takes the story back and forth just to surprise reader. Beyond a point things look like forced into the novel which makes the reader to yawn.

About Pachaikili muthucharam, the film fails simply because it tried to make too many compromises.The problem is not that movie deviates from the novel largely (Absolutely I have no issues on it. A good painting and good replication are different things).The problem is even after deviating from novel the director wants to use some elements from the novel which he liked. But they were not fitting well in to the new picture he had created . It goes like this. I decided to replicate a drawing which depicts a countryside with few men standing. People started to say something and I change it but I love the way the people dressed and want to keep it. so at last I come out with a different background and people costume just looks inappropriate.

They decide not to show the hero as a character having a weakness for opposite sex. They want to show as it was the lady who was desperate, that makes us doubt was he not suspicious of something?

All of a sudden he sees her again (after the blackmail is fully settled up)and just like follows her and know about her. Why he started to smell something fishy. An ordinary man probably will either try to move away or go and speak but why will he spy unless otherwise he smelled something wrong. The novel had it but for some reason movie skips it.

In novel, the protagonist knows that the main person is alive and wants to confront him and finish the story for ever. But in movie he thinks the story is over and so final duel does not look like a finishing touch but hangs like unwanted addition.

The novel brings the police into picture (though it does not use them exhaustively). But the movie never brings them, which looks odd in a movie which looks like near to life because of the dialogues, camera, lighting etc..

The crux is: The novel is essentially about a person who knows nothing about the dark world , but gets involved and learn their game through his experience (after mistakes and with lots of pain) and finally out play them. The movie has everything except those inside parenthesis. That make the viewer not to believe it.Its not we don't have the movies that lack that logic (all our super hero movies). The point is those movies don't disguise themselves as near to real life . They don't have the color, texture that our realistic movies have.

Potpourri-2

2007-04-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

Among the various things I did in last few weeks, I watched Rhapsody in August, Gone with The Wind, Saving Private Ryan and read Arundhati Roy's An Ordinary Persons Guide to Empire. The one thing that was common in all these was "WAR".

Rhapsody in August is a Japanese film directed by Akira Kurosawa. Its a simple story which shows how 3 generations react to the bombing of Nagasaki. It is not considered as Akira's best one, but this movie fulfilled my long desire of watching an Akira movie. My another wish of watching Sathyajit ray's work was also fulfilled with Aparajito. With subtitles and with powerful use of cinema language watching neither an Japanese film or Bengali film is not so difficult. I liked Rhapsody. The location, background score and the way the story moves, like a stream running silently through woods, reminds me Adoor's Nizalkuthhu. The main character is an old lady who lost her hair and husband in bombing of Nagasaki. Her grand children are with her for vacation as their parents went to Hawaii to visit a person in dead bed who is considered to be old lady's brother. The old lady is not able to recognise her brother and so she is not ready to visit him. Further he married an American woman. The grand children persuade her to visit Hawaii, so that they could also visit. But they gradually change their idea (especially after visiting the place where bomb dropped in Nagasaki). Finally the lady accepts to go and so they send a mail she will come to Hawaii after anniversary of bombing which will be the anniversary for her husband too. Meantime the second generation people come back and in all praise for their new relatives, because of their affluent status. The old lady and the younger ones get irritated by this talk.When the old lady's son and daughter come to know about the reference to bombing in the mail sent , they are worried that it will embarrass their new relatives and the welcome hand may be withdrawn. But on contrary the Japanese-American relative (son of old lady's brother) come to take part in the anniversary and feels sorry for his uncle's death. The film ends with him leaving back to Hawaii as his father expires and the old lady behaves in hallucination on the anniversary day of bombing. More than the film I loved the title which sounded like a poem and represented movie well. Through the story he beautifully shows the emotions the different people undergo about bombing. The war is over but its haunting thoughts still linger. The story is not blaming anyone for war, it just show how cruel a war and what a war can achieve is nothing but loss for all. A beautiful statement about war comes in Gone with the wind. At the end of war nothing exists and no one knows why they fought it and what they want or got.

Gone withe wind uses American civil war as a backdrop. Its a lengthy movie with wonderful acting by the two leading pair. The story is too complex. More than story what was great in the story is the characters consistency. Its more about people than about incidents. Incidents exists to establish them. The interesting thing about the movie is, it is not about good Vs Evil, which I fell never exists in real life. The people are not black or white. They are Grey. People who openly proclaim that they are selfish and act so and who always want to prove that their benevolent hearted and try to live so and under some instances expose their selfishness. This is a thing which I liked in this movie than Rand's work. In her novels in the heart its always good vs evil and only difference is the evil are those who were generally shown as good in most of the works. she too will present people in the middle but her story won't be about them and she also say service as a sin. But gone with the wind just points the selfishness which lies deep inside the benevolent face we wear. It doesn't say It is good or Its bad.It just says It will exist. Its a movie at the end you won't fall in love /try to emulate one character or loath one. But on contrary you will learn to accept the versatility of life. On the flip side the film shows slavery with an soft corner, but for that it's a good cinema.

Saving Private Ryan- Hollywood -Steven Spielberg film. It spares no chance to show how caring American government on its citizens (well the whole film is all about it). It takes us through the modern battle field which is nothing but the streets and beach shores in which we will relax on a normal day. The film shows, what drives the military men to fight- kill otherwise will be killed,the way man behaves in front of death, the moral consolation he says to himself for the butcher he does and the need of strict status quo in war front. Above all the film reminded me how precious the peace that I enjoy now is.

Arundhati Roys "An ordinary persons Guide to Empire" has nothing but her hatred for American and Indian ruling power. I wonder is this how Ellsworth Toohey's writing would be- may be or may be not. When she reason out why she hates these power centres, it makes perfect sense but it fails to impress as her solutions are hollow. I wonder do they have any alternative? The result is a highly rhetoric work (with excellent use of metaphors and language- i liked the phrase " do turkeys enjoy thanksgiving?") which looks like the oration our political leaders make during election. What she suggest is destruction of existing system. But what next? We have several examples in history where people who desired to build a new system and started the road map with complete destruction of existing system and lost path after that. But still people do it . Is it the only path available? or is it the easiest path to become a demagogue?

கதை கதையாம் காரணமாம்

2007-04-09T21:33:00.000-07:00

"பாட்டி அப்பளம் சுட்டாள்"-சிறுகதை.
"பாட்டி வானலியில் எண்ணை ஊற்றினாள். அப்பளக் கட்டை எடுத்தாள்....." -நாவல்.
இந்த பகுப்பை ஆதரிக்கா விட்டாலும் எதிர்க்காதவன் நான். ஆனால், நாவல், சிறுகதை சார்ந்து என்னுள் இருந்த எண்ணங்களை தெளிவடைய செய்தது R.K. Narayan இன் Malgudi Days. இந்த சிறுகதை தொகுப்பு நான் இதற்குமுன் படித்த சிறுகதைகளில் ரசித்தவையையும் , அதற்கான காரணத்தையும் உணர்த்தியது.

நான் படித்தவற்றில் பெரும்பாலுமானவை நாவல்களே. பெரும்பாலும் நாவல் படிக்கும் வேகத்திற்கு சிறுகதை தொகுப்பு படிக்க முடிவதில்லை. ஒரு சிறுகதைக்கும் மற்றொன்றும்கிடையே போதுமான இடைவெளி தேவைபடுகிறது. தொடர்ந்து 3/4 சிறுகதை படித்தால் அடுத்த சிறுகதையை ரசிக்க முடியவில்லை. ஆனால் நாவலில் தொடர்ந்து பல அத்தியாயங்கள் படிக்க முடிகிறது. இது கூட நான் சிறுகதையை தவிர்க்க காரணமாக இருக்கலாம். மற்றொரு விசயம், வார பத்திரிக்கைகள் கவிதைக்கு பிறகு அதிகம் கொலை பன்னியது சிறுகதைகளைதான்.

சிறுகதைகள் பெரும்பாலும் பேசுவது ஒரு குறிப்பிட்ட நிகழ்வைதான். பெரும்பாலும் அது சாதரண மனிதர்களின் வாழ்வில் நிகழ்கின்ற சற்றே வித்தியாசமன நிகழ்வுகளை பற்றியே பேசுகிறது. ஆனால் நாவலுக்கோ சற்றே அசாதராணமான நிகழ்வுகளும், நிகழ்வுகளைவிட ஏன் அது நிகழ்கிறது என்பது சார்ந்த நம்பகதன்மையை ஏற்படுத்த வேண்டிய அவசியமும் ஏற்படுகிறது. சிறுகதை சாதரண மனிதர்களை சுற்றி நிகழ்வதால் charachter establishment/ consistencyக்கு ரொம்ப மெனக்கெடவேண்டியது இல்லை. அப்படி chrachter establishment செய்ய முயற்சிக்கிற சிறுகதைகள் ஏதோ அரைகுறையாக முடிந்ததாகவே தோன்றுகிறது. நாவலுக்கு ஒரு முழுமையான முடிவு அவசியம் ஆகிறது. ஆனால் ஒரு சிறுகதையின் பெரும்பகுதி வாசிப்பவரின் கற்பனையில் இருக்கிறது. அந்த கதை பேசும் நிகழ்ச்சிக்கு பின் அந்த கதாபாத்திரம் என்ன செய்யும் என்பது வாசகனின் கற்பனையில் நிகழ்கிறது. அதனால்தான் சிறுகதைகளுக்கு இடையே இடைவேளை தேவை படுகிறது.

swami and friends மட்டுமே படித்திருந்ததால் R.K Narayan ஒரு நகைச்சுவை எழுத்தாளராகவே தெரிந்தார். அது எவ்வளவு தவறு என்பது இந்த வாசிப்புக்கு பின்தான் புரிந்தது. ஒருசிறுகதையில், நாய் ஒன்று பிச்சைகாரனிடம் இருக்கும். அதை அவன் அடிமை போல் நடத்துவான். சிலர் அந்த நாயை விடுவிப்பார்கள் , ஆனால் சில நாட்களில் அந்த நாய் மீண்டும் அவனிடமே அடிமையாகி விடும். இந்த கதை எனக்கு எதோ நாயை பற்றி மட்டும் சொல்வதாக படவில்லை. வாழ்க்கையில் மாற்றங்களுக்கு மருகும் மனிதர்கள், பிரச்சனைகளை சமயோதிகமாக சமாளிப்பவர்கள், கடந்த காலங்களிலே வாழ்பவார்கள், என எல்லா மனிதர்களையும் காணமுடிகிறது.

கற்பனைதிறன் நிறைந்த அதே சமயம் உலகியலை உற்று கவனிப்பவரின் படைப்பு.

Red Dragon

2007-03-10T19:30:00.000-08:00

There are some disadvantages when we read the two books by same author and same genre in succession. We may feel like things becoming repetitive or predictable soon. Especially the odds are high if we read the earlier of the two later. But in spite of these things Thomas Harris "red dragon" is nice.

I am not sure he had much in mind about Hannibal Lecter , when he wrote this first. It does not revolve much around him as silence of the lambs revolves. The interesting part is the way the protagonist will graham, the detective character is sketched out. Two planned murders have happened at two different places. He is trying to find the link. He lives with the problem. In his subconscious level he is always trying to solve the puzzle. One of the characters in Sujatha's first novel நைலான் கயிறு says that every crime is like a design/ building made using play cards. It may look complex. But if you remove the correct card it will fall down. This story is also about picking that correct card. But the good thing is when Graham pulls out the correct card the reader believe he did it. It does not look like "the author had done 300+ pages and he wants to finish it off, so the hero picks right card."It looks natural.

But the portion which shows why the antagonist had become so looks like an page filler. It does not have the sincerity that exists when Harris writes about the Graham. As a result the antagonists love affair also looks weak.

திருக்குறள்-4

2007-03-10T18:53:00.000-08:00

"சொல்லப் பயன்படுவர் சான்றோர் கரும்புபோல
கொல்லப் பயன்படும் கீழ்"

எனக்கு தெரிந்து கரும்பு உவமையாக்க பட்ட ஒரே குறள். மன்மதன், கரும்பு போன்றவை காமத்துப்பாலில் பயன்படுத்த பட்டு உள்ளதா தெரியவில்லை. எல்லா தவர வகைகளையும் நாம் கொன்று தான் உண்ணுகிறோம். ஆக இந்த கொல்லுதல் பிழிதலை அர்த்தப்படுத்துவதாக கொள்ளலாம். அப்படியென்றால் திருக்குறள் காலத்திலே கரும்பை எதைக் கொண்டோ பிழிந்திருக்கிறார்கள். பிழிந்து என்ன செய்து இருப்பார்கள் சாரயம்? சக்கரை? சக்கரை செய்தார்களோ இல்லையோ கரும்பை பிழிவது என்ற அளவிலாவது தொழில்நுட்பம் தெரிந்து வைத்துள்ளனர். 2000 வருடம் முந்தியே கரும்பாலை வைத்திருந்தோமா? என்னளவில் இது ஆச்சரியமாக உள்ளது, மற்றொரு விசயம்: கரும்பை கடித்து தின்பது அன்றுதொட்டு அந்த அளவு பழக்கதில் இல்லை, இருந்திருந்தால் இந்த குறள் அர்த்தம் இழக்கிறது.

Potpourri

2007-03-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

There are several things which I thought of writing and got slipped as I am travelling in all the 4 ships valluvar said in kural 605 . I am trying to put everything in this blog . Possibly there could be some accuracy errors as I have to refresh my memory and write.

1. I watched pachaikili on the first day, in a theatre in San Jose which is being used to screen Indian movies alone. The theatre was too small and screen looked archaic. Still the movie watching experience was not bad, because of, good air circulation, good sound system and not so bad chairs. I think the rural theatres in Tamilnadu can also be maintained like this. But the catch is these theatres charge same as the good looking theatres but in Tamilnadu there is a huge difference. About the movie, every one has their own reasons why pachaikili fails to satisfy. When I watched the first half I could not help but to think of Balumahendra. Everything is same except colors and background. In Balu movies it will be simple (i don't have a better word to put) which makes us to feel we are watching it in life and not in screen. Here its like Mani movies. The color contrasts ,tints and background music which often shows its presence makes us to remind we are watching a movie. The second half is typical Gautham masala, and the last session is an unwanted appendage. Further dialogues are not so consistent. In a conversation which is interspersed with English words, the lady uses the word"கணவர்". I don't think no one will use that word in such place. I wish he could have given more care for dialogue and avoided these glitches.But still I like the movie for the first half and enjoy it in the second half except for last 20 minutes or so.

2. Read 4 Novels in last 3 weeks. Black Friday by James Patterson, lord of rings part1, Eye of the needle by Ken Follet, Silence of the lambs by Thomas Harris. Most of the page-turner genre novels search for something or someone. This is common in all the three novels (Lord of Rings has also something like that but in different context. So lets leave it). But what makes the difference is the way it is presented. Black Friday fails miserably because its too brief. It does not establish any character. It has all the things that these genre of novels have: protagonist has to win over time, there is an insider, the negative character is misguided by someone who exists in both good and evil group. But all these happens in a hurry. So we don't feel an exhilaration or relief when all veils are removed . We neither feel the sense of urgency or the weight of expedition . The one-liners are too banal. The novel fails miserably.

Eye of the needle becomes great because of the meticulousness of details. First few pages clearly shows its written by an English novelist. Its a simple spy novel (Might be a path break when its published. But now I am reading it after reading some novels which came later.) A spy gets some privileged info, police want to stop him. Certain lines uttered by the main characters are nice but its few. What makes it interesting is the details. A worthy read. Looking forward to read more from the author.

I took silence of lambs as there are more references for the movie and I could not get the movie. I could not remember anything I read so far as vulgar / crude as this. May be its because of the people it deals with. But the novel has correct mix of thriller and emotion. There are not much details about why the serial killer had become so, but the novel is not much about him. There are several instances which reminded me some of the scenes in Tamil film. We can call it inspiration or plagiarism depending on where we belong. Especially the personal reason of Kamal to chase the psychopath in vettayaiyadu vilaiyadu or the scene Nandhu introduced in Aalavandhan. Lot more. There are lot of details about the way how the FBI zeros down the serial killer. The interrogations with former forensic psychiatrist turned cannibalistic sociopath is well crafted. FBI knows he knows the serial killer, but made him to believe that they are using his intelligence and asks for clue and traces from it. The spiralling way the story moves based on his clues, the complications that comes in the middle, altogether makes a nice plot. The movie is not much action and mostly based on interrogation and I wonder how it was made as a good film . It should be a good work. Have to see it.

3. I watched Charlie Chaplin's City Lights. Its a simple love story. There is an interesting piece of comedy sequence in the movie. There are also some nice acting scenes by Chaplin, especially in the climax. But when I see the movie with the idea that it came some 75 years back, i could not help but to remember how much the movie is used by Tamil film makers(whom only i know to comment). The whole film was broken into different pieces and used by most of our directors.

கவிதை

2007-02-24T23:23:00.000-08:00

வெண்பா இலக்கணத்தை மீண்டும் படித்தது முதல் எதையாவது ஏழு சீருக்குள் தளை தட்டாமல் எழுதி விடவேண்டும் என முயன்று தோற்று போகின்ற நொடியில் தோன்றிய வரியை கொஞ்சம் மாற்றி அமைத்தால் குறள் வெண்பா இலக்கணத்துக்குள் அமைந்த சொற்றொடர் வந்தது. இதை கவிதை என்று சொல்ல மாட்டேன். எப்படி ஆங்கிலத்தில் house, home இரண்டுக்கும் வேறுபாடு உள்ளதோ அது போல் கவிதைக்கும், கவிதை போலுக்கும் இடையேவும் உண்டு. அந்த வித்தியாசத்தை வார்த்தைகளால் வரையறுக்க முடியும் என்று எனக்குத் தோன்றவில்லை. அது ஒரு 'feel factor'.
கவிதை அனுபவம்/ உணர்வு சார்ந்த ஒன்று. ஆகையால் அனைவருக்கும் ஒரு கவிதை, கவிதையாக தெரிய வேண்டியதில்லை. ஆனால், 'கவிதை போன்ற' ஒன்று யாருக்குமே ஒரு உணர்வை தராது. அது வெறும் தட்டையான சொற்களின் தொடர்ச்சி. மரபு கவிதை என்பது புள்ளி வைத்து கோலம் போடுவது போன்ற ஒரு செயல். மரபு கவிதைக்கு ஆதரவாக பல காரணங்கள் கூறபட்டாலும் (இசைக்குள் சுலபமாக நுழைவது ...) என் பார்வையில் தோன்றும் ஒரு காரணம், அது படைப்பாளிக்கு கூடுதலான நிறைவை தரும் என்பது. ஒரு நெரிசலான சாலையில் லவகமாக பேருந்தை ஓட்டுபவனுக்கும் புறவழிசாலையில் ஒட்டுபவனுக்கும் உள்ள வேறுபாடு போல். நீ சொல்ல நினைத்ததையே, நான் இன்னும் குறைவான சாத்தியங்களுக்குள் சொல்லிவிட்டேன் என்ற ஒரு edge. இது தான் பெரும்பான்மையான தமிழாசிரியர்களை மரபு சார்ந்தே எழுத தூண்டுகிறது என்று நினைக்கிறேன். அதே போல் இலக்கணம் அறிந்த வாசகனுக்கும் ஒரு பிரமிப்பு. "இத்தன fielder நிக்க வெச்சும் 4 அடிச்சிட்டான்யா!!" என்பது போன்று. இந்த பிரமிப்புக்கு ஈடு செய்வதற்காகத்தான் மரபு சாரா கவிதை எழுதுவோர் ஒரு புன்முறுவலையோ, இமை உயர்தலையோ தரக்கூடிய புத்திசாலிதனமான வரிகளை தங்கள் கவிதையில் வைத்துவிடுகிறார்கள். பரவலான மக்களால் ஏற்று கொள்ள பட வேண்டிய மரபு சாரா கவிதைக்கு இந்த 'புத்திசாலித்தனமான வரியே' ஒரு இலக்கணம் ஆகி விட்டது.

நான் எழுதிய அந்த 'குறள் வெண்பா' சொற்றொடர்:

தளை:
"எப்படிச் சொன்னாலும் எங்கேனும் தட்டு
வதுதட்ட வில்லை இதில்"

திருக்குறள்-3

2007-02-19T20:12:00.000-08:00

"சொல்லுதல் யார்க்கும் எளிய அரியவாம்
சொல்லிய வண்ணம் செயல்"
அர்த்தம் புரிந்து கொள்வதற்கு மிக எளிமையான குறள். எங்கள் ஊர் பேருந்துகளில் அதிகம் பயன்படுத்த பட்ட குறள். ஆனால் என்னுள் இந்த குறள் அதிகம் தாக்கம் ஏற்படுத்தியது வேலைக்கு சேர்ந்த பின்தான். வார்த்தைக்கும் வாழ்க்கைகும் இடையே பள்ளம் விழும் இடங்களில் எல்லாம் மனதுள் ஒலிக்கும் குறள். திருக்குறள் பகுப்பு முறையும், அது ஒருவரால் படைக்க பட்டது என்பதும் பலரால் நிறுவ படுகிறது. இருந்தாலும்,
அது தொட்டுச் செல்கின்ற கருத்துக்களை காணும் போது அது ஒருவரால் ஒரே சமயதில் படைக்க பட்டிருக்க முடியுமா என்ற சந்தேகமே/ மலைப்பே எழுகிறது. துறவறத்தையும், காமத்துப்பாலையும் ஒரே stretchil எழுத முடியுமா? அப்படி இல்லை என்றாலும் முதல் குறள் படைத்த காலத்திலேயே இவ்வளவு பெரிய படைப்பு பற்றிய எண்ணம் இருந்திருக்குமா? ஆனால், என்னிடம் ஒரு முடிவை எடுத்துக்கொள்வதற்கு தேவையான அளவு ஆதாரங்கள் இல்லை. இன்றைய நிலையில் நான் திருக்குறள் ஆதிமூலம் பொருத்தவரை ஒரு agnostic.
இந்த குறள் வினைதிட்பம் கீழ் வருகிறது. ஆனால் எனக்கு இது 'ஒரு தனி மனிதனின் எண்ணங்களுக்கும் சமூக எதிர்பார்ப்புகளுக்கும் இடையே வேறுபாடுகள் தோன்றுகிற இடத்துக்கும் பொருத்தமான' குறளாகவும் தோன்றுகிறது. theory of relativity எப்படி இயற்பியல் தாண்டியும் பொருந்துமோ, அதுபோல இது செயலை தாண்டியும் அர்த்தபடுகிறது.

திருக்குறள்-2

2007-02-11T19:57:00.000-08:00

"கற்றதனால் ஆய பயனென்கொல் வாலறிவன்
நற்றாள் தொழாஅர் எனின்."

குறள் படித்த அனைவரும் கட்டாயம் கேள்வி பட்டிருக்க கூடிய குறள். நீண்ட காலத்திற்கு இக்குறள், கல்வியின் பயன் கடவுளை வணங்குவது எனும் பொருள் தருவதாகவே மட்டுமே தோன்றியது. பின் வாலறிவன் என்ற சொல் சமண சொல் என்ற வாதம் கேள்வி பட்டேன். கல்வியின் பயன் அறிவில் மூத்த பெருந்தகையாளரின் முன்னே வணங்கி நிற்றல் எனும் 'நாத்திக' கருத்து அறிமுகமானது. இதன் தொடர்ச்சியாய், வாலறிவன் = அனைத்தும் அறிந்தவன் எனும் அர்த்தம் வருமோ எனத் தோன்றியது. அப்படி சாத்தியப்பட்டால் , அனைத்தும் அறிந்தவர் பாதம் தொழாவிட்டால் கல்வியின் பயன் இல்லை என அர்த்தபடுகிறது. அனைத்தும் அறிந்தவர்(ன்) இருக்க முடியுமா ?( கடவுள்??). அல்லது ஒட்டுமொத்த அறிவுக்கு கொடுக்கபட்ட உருவம்தான் வாலறிவனோ?. பாதம் பனிதல் என்றால் அடக்குத்துடன் இருத்தல் எனக் கொள்ளலாம். அப்படி என்றால், "அறிவுலகின் முன் பணிவுடன் இருத்தல், அதாவது கற்றது கைமண் அளவு என்பதே கல்வியின் பயன்."

திருக்குறள்-1

2007-02-10T22:03:00.000-08:00

என் பள்ளி காலங்களில் நான் திருக்குறளை கவிதை என்ற வட்டதிற்குள் வைத்ததே இல்லை. எல்லோரும் குறளை புகழ்வதை படிக்கும் / கேட்கும் (என் அப்பாவும் மற்றொரு மாமாவும்) போதெல்லம் எனக்கு, “இதில் என்ன இலக்கண வரையறைக்குள் எகப்பட்ட கருத்துகள் உள்ளன , ஆனால் கவிதை?....” என்ற எண்ணமே தோன்றும். வைரமுத்தும், மேத்தாவும் எழுதிய "கவிதைகளில்" சொக்கி கிடந்த காலம்.

காலம் மாற உணவு ரசனைகள் மட்டும் அல்ல கவிதை சார்ந்த ரசனைகளும் மாறின. இந்த மாற்றதிற்கு காரணம் சில வாழ்வியல் அனுபவங்கள், அந்த நொடியில் மனதில் மின்னிய குறள்கள். மற்றொன்று, நம்ம ஊர் அரசு பேருந்துகள். என்னோட எண்ண படி 20 குறளுக்குள் ஒன்றைதான் எல்லா அரசு பேருந்திலும் எழுதி இருக்கிறார்கள். சினிமா பாடல்கள் கூட ஒலிக்காத அந்த பேருந்து பயணங்களில் நம்மையும் அறியாமல் நம் உள்ளே போய் தங்கிவிடும் அந்த குறள்கள் ஒரு புதிய பரிமானத்தை காட்டும்.

நான் பதிவு செய்ய விரும்புவது திருக்குறளுக்கு அர்த்தம் அல்ல. மு.வா தொடங்கி வைத்ததை பல பேர் தொடர்ந்து விட்டார்கள். சான்டியல்யன், சுஜாதா கூட உரை எழுதி உள்ளனர். நான் குறளையோ, எந்த உரையையோ முழுதாக படிதவன் இல்லை. ஆனால் நான் புரட்டிய வரையில் பெரும்பாலும் குறளுக்கு உரை எழுதிய நொடியில் மட்டும் எல்லாரும் மு.வா ஆக இருந்திருக்கிறார்கள். சுஜாதாவின் கதைகளில்/கட்டுரையில் இருக்கும் எள்ளல் கலந்த நடையையோ, கலைஞரின் வார்த்தை விளையாட்டையோ எதிர்பார்த்தால் மிஞ்சுவது எமாற்றமே! ஒரு வேளை இவர்கள் எதோ குறிப்பிட்ட குறள்களுக்கு மட்டும் (சாண்டில்யன் காமத்து பாலுக்கு) உரை எழுதி இருந்தால் நன்றாக இருந்திருக்குமோ..

நான் பதிவு செய்ய போவது என்னை ஈர்த்த குறள்களை பற்றிய என் உளறல்களை தான்.

Hopefully, next round

2007-02-06T22:28:00.000-08:00

After a hiatus, i hope i'll start again to scribble. However there are some issues like, the utility to type in tamil is not getting installed in vista. so may be no tamil blabbering still there is an alternative.

Interesting Articles

2006-12-20T17:06:00.000-08:00

Among the things which I read recently, I liked two articles(as a matter of fact, nowadays I am not reading much). These two articles have nothing in common except they are associated with the things that I love. One, is noble prize acceptance speech by Orhan Pamuk. The interesting thing in it is his opinion on writers, what make people to write and how far they feel secluded. His thoughts about his dad were also interesting.

Other is an interview by Gautham . During my good old schooldays I was much interested in reading film news. Then at some point it became banal. The only difference across different news are only the names, the contents were same. I began to read only if the news is associated with people like kamal, prakash raj, balumahendra as their interviews were slightly different. But this interview is a nice one. There are some surprise elements also, and I am not much serious about it. It was obvious all was not well between kamal and goutham in VV. Kamal looked like a reluctant player in it. In metro plus before the movie release kamal stated “this is a masala movie which doesn’t disguise itself as a different one”. But in my opinion it worked out in favor of the movie. In the movie, what I saw was the Kamal I used to see in television interviews. The only thing that raised my eyebrows is Gautham statement first half is my choice second half is Kamal and producer choice. I too felt that the second half is to cater ‘c’ centers. Well Gautham too showed the difference by using different colour shades. Might be Kamal don’t want to do other than masala in other productions, after aalavandhan fiasco and its repercussions. After reading “derailed” story I too believe it is not commercially viable with the star salary of Kamal. Generally Gautham films are with too much of violence and now he himself says “Quentin Tarantino kind”. Let us hope “pachaikilli muthucharam” is not so excruciating.

பனி.....பணி

2006-12-18T19:10:00.000-08:00

Heater சத்ததில் விடியும் காலை,
பனி பெய்யும் வேளை,
மனிதரே நடவா சாலை,
பளிங்கு போல் மின்னும் நேற்றைய புல்வெளி,
அனைத்தும் அர்த்தமிழக்கிறது,
கணிணி திரையை உயிர்பிக்கும் நொடியில்.

கரையும் காலம்

2006-12-17T16:47:00.000-08:00

வாரமொன்று கழிந்தால்
வருடமொன்று கழிய,
விசனங்கள் இல்லாமல்
விசயங்களோடு மட்டுமே கழிந்த நேரங்கள்,
கண் முடி அளவே......

தலை குனிந்து கை குவித்து
நான் பருக முயல,
விரலிடுக்கில் வழியும் நீராய்,
காலம் கரைய,
குடுவையின் மீதம் தெரியாமல்,,
நான் குழம்ப,
நீர் வழிந்து கொண்டே இருக்கிறது...

குடுவையின் மிச்சம் பார்க்க,
அடுத்தவன் சிந்தியதை பார்க்க,
பார்வையாளர்களுக்கு முகம் மாற்ற -என
தவற விட்ட துளிகளை துடைத்து விட்டால்,
நான் விழுங்கியதில் அதிகம் என் எச்சில்களே!
என்றோ விழுங்கிய நீர்தானே இன்றய எச்சில்..

வரும் நீர் மட்டுமே கிளியின் கன்னாய் தெரிய,
நான் ஒன்றும் பார்த்திபன் அல்லவே!!!

வழிந்த நீருக்காய் கரு வளைங்கள் பெருக்காமல்,
வாழ வாய்பதில்லை எல்லோருக்கும்......

ரசித்த கவிதை

2006-12-16T14:11:00.000-08:00

காதல் தோல்வி, காதலி அழகு, உணர்ச்சிகரமன வரிகள் இல்லாமல் சற்றே இயல்பன தொனியில் சில கவிதைகளை இந்த தளத்திள் கான முடிகிறது. நான் நல்ல கவிதை என்று நினைக்கும் இலக்கணுதுக்குள் வரும் கவிதை Kuzhandhaiyin Dosai .

Personal note:
As I find his works different from other in this genre I clicked his profile. As usual an engineer with different interests. His profile sounded in line with my expectations. Patterns match but still i think that i read too much between lines. More evidences needed . Let me wait and see.

Ma Bhoomi

2006-12-14T19:12:00.000-08:00

Watched one more Telugu film- “Ma bhoomi”. The film is the debut film for Goutam gosh, after this he started to make movies in Hindi. This is a B&W film shot in 1980. It is a screen adaptation of Urdu novel by Kishanchander. The story is about the feudal structure and telungana struggle in 1940’s. The film is produced by Narsing rao. I landed up in this film, as I liked Dasi. The film tracks the story of a guy who is born to peasant in telungana. His great grandfather had some land, his grandfather had 2 acres and his father had nothing and he works in a land of zamindar. Actually the British government gave the tax collecting right to nizam which in term gave it to zamindars, who using it usurped the whole land from the peasants and made the poor people as their bonded labors. The boy is forced to do cattle rearing in his childhood and he grows up as a bonded labor. At one point, he runs away from village. After some errands he ends up in a factory as a labor. There he joins local union and learns to read. In some strike, he goes to jail. There he meets his village friend and learns that people in village tarted to revolt. So he returns to village and starts guerrilla fight. With help of entire village people, he drives away the zamindars and burn all pawn papers and distribute land to landless.

The film is poetic when it shows the poverty in which the child is brought up, his life style, his ignorance, his reactions when he sees mirror first time in his life. But in the middle it becomes preachy. When it speaks about communist ideology, it fails to use cinema language, and looks like our poorly shot documentaries. The villagers fighting without knowing what communist or Marxist means is a beautiful idea. It makes me to remember what nalla says in “anbe sivam”. Communism is a concept that exists for so long, its just Karl Marx named it. It will never die and will exist as long oppression exists in the world. But after the protagonist returns back to village the director is in a hurry to finish the movie. The film which starts so beautifully, becomes in the middle something like a school student essay: “if I become a CM” and maintains same tone till the end.

I know naxalites in a way fight for land. But I thought it came into existence after freedom, somewhere close to MISA. But after seeing this movie I got a doubt whether it existed even before independence. Then I searched Google. It looks like naxalites as an organisation was started after independence but we can say this event back in 1946 as a precursor for those organisations. There are few interesting things that popped in my mind associated with this. These naxal activities are so strong in Andhra, Bihar and in some northern states also, but it looks as not so big in Tamilnadu. What could be the reason ? I can try to read more on this. May be I am wrong and some existed in Tamilnadu too. We have to consider this in the light that most part of present Tamilnadu was not under control of Tamils and under the control of Telugu people before British took complete control.

My belief that arm based struggle can give immediate advantage but can never give final solution, gets re-in forced. The telungana struggle changed its masks but it still continues. All the arm struggles lost their path in the middle . The final solution remains always elusive and they end up at a stage where they have no other option other than to fight and die. History is full of examples and still continues to produce examples.

I saw this movie too in Google videos. Interestingly it has lot of Malayalam movies but not a single movie directed by people like adoor. But in Telugu I was able to find these two movies. Even in Tamil “terrorist” directed by santhosh sivan is there. Though I have seen it already in DD planning to see it one more time.

Dasi- Telungana in 1920

2006-12-10T18:42:00.000-08:00

I watched a telugu film dasi, directed by B. Narsing Rao. The film came in 1988 and the story is about the feudal structure existed in telungana state in 1920. For person like me who never knew much about it, it looks more incongruous, especially the ignorance of people, their exploitation and the associated poignancy. But it all existed. Nehru in glimpses of world history said something like this: When we read about tajmahal or other lavish richness of the kings what we fail to notice is the blood and toil of common man behind it. While the kings were spending lavishly without bothering about the plight of common man, majority of people in India were in pathetic condition. This film nicely captures this paradox. The story is about a girl (played by archana) who is sold for twenty rupees ; from there she reaches a zamindar’s house as a part of dowry. The story unfolds at this point. She does house work, sleeps with zamindar and his friends , convince a new girl and brings to zamindar and finally gets aborted. The film nicely juxtaposes two different worlds that exist in same house. The food the zamindar family eats, the prayer and worships they perform the entertainment that they have is shown in contrast with what archana and her coterie have. The life style of that period is nicely shown. zamindarini applies fresh butter over her hair and hand before taking bath, buys bangles sitting in other side of screen , drinks kallu, and stays in a separate room and comes to zamidar room if they want to have sex. Zamindar drinks, haves sex, worships before eating Non veg, hears parayanam, talks with people from nizam, orders to assault a person and orders to throw someone who died because of assault, with an indifference. The film runs for more than 2 Hrs, with minimal dialogues. In retrospection I could not see even a single frame as unwanted. As I believe that the feudal system no longer exists, there is no purpose for this movie in current world, but it stands as an epitome for nice story telling and the power of cinema. The immense possibilities available in the art called as cinema. One example for it is the scene in which archana getting aborted. It is shown with the function that is happening in zamindar’s house for his sister becoming pregnant.

The movie is available in Google videos with English subtitles. The print is not so good and so subtitles are not clear at some places.

தமிழ் கற்பதனால் ஆய பயனென்

2006-12-09T21:18:00.000-08:00

I am not an erudite to say whether learning in mother tongue will help in understanding things better. I am neither pushing the emotional angle of Tamil-our identity etc..

I accept the fact that in the present scenario learning Tamil is not going to give one any monetary gains. But I belong to a group that doesn’t believe all we do in life should give us some monetary benefit. If you belong to that clause and if you believe life is all about experience, then I have a point to say. Learn Tamil just to read it’s exhaustive literature treasure. I don’t know any language other than Tamil and English. So don’t take it as I am comparing Tamil with other languages.

For me a literature /movie is good if it can be identified with one in some way.When I say it should able to identify with one what I mean is: “At some moment in your life (it can be a trifling moment) out of context, a piece of prose that you read somewhere, sometime , pops up in your memory and you feel it aptly fits what you feel at the current moment. Or while you are reading a piece the character in it undergoes or speaks about what you have / had underwent.” So one’s opinion about a book is dynamic, book which one liked a year back may not be in his wish list now. What one hasn’t liked at first read might be his favorite now. A book that I feel as good one might not be felt so by someone. Or different people could like it for their own reasons. In short “it’s a feel factor”. Everyone will have his own world to cherish. But there are few works that have something for you to cherish at any time. It could be written thousand years back, but today it could be relevant to you. Tamil have lot of works like that.I am planning to write a separate article on such experience.

The other point is the phonetics of Tamil-the rhythm, sound effects and associated limit less possibilities. To feel this just hear speeches of vai kopalswamy, dialogues uttered by sivaji ganeshan in films like manohara or read some works of annadurai, karunanidhi. One will like to read it aloud and hear back what they read. This is a thing which attracted lot of people towards tamil and I like the dravidan people like bharathidasan, karunanidhi, annadurai for this fact

Dinner @ Japanese Restaurant

2006-12-09T19:10:00.000-08:00

I thought of writing last week itself. The reason for procrastination is my laziness. Valluvar said “ forgetting, laziness, long sleep all these are ships which people who want to hit failure will take” (I remember this because my dad scolds me only by saying that kural). I have all the three. I went to an Japanese restaurant. I went with my roommate who is in US for several years and been to these hotels for some time. So there was not any problem in choosing a menu. He ordered an combo for me which had an soup, spring roll, a piece of item which is similar to nugget but had sea food. He said it is of type clam. Well it was nice especially with the sauce that they gave. The main course was fried rice, steak and chicken. Before going to it I have to explain the table in which we sat. It was rectangular in shape and chairs were only on 3 sides. I was initially surprised why it had no chairs on other side. But it got clarified when we entered main course. A chef came with a trolley. The other side was actually a stove. They started to cook front of us. He made fried rice then fried vegetables, chicken and steak. To fry onion, He took an onion slice and separated each ring and placed them one above other like the tower of Hanoi and poured oil on it and lit a fire. The skillfulness, with which he did it, was a wonderful thing to look at. During cooking he was asking us about our country, our food style, culture etc.. It was a quite interesting thing to look out. Finally the bill came close to 26 USD per head.

Well we can see this kind of cooking in roadside shops of India also. Especially if you order an fried rice the way he cut and put egg in it and tosses the rice .. I love to watch it. The difference is there he will be in lungi, road side sound and dust will be the there, here the cook is in formal attire and speaks to us amicably and cooks.

learning tamil

2006-12-02T14:22:00.000-08:00

Though I read lot of tamil novels and I have scribbled something under the name of புது கவிதை, my knowledge in tamil grammer is virually zero.Honestly I never took the pain to learn something seriously. It is one of the biggest costs I have paid for studying in an English medium -matriculation school in a rural area. All the subject were in English but staffs and everyone spoke in colloquial Tamil. There was a Tamil paper but it was always treated as something not a worth one. Net result products, which were half-baked in both languages. Well this can be seen just as blaming game, and one can ask me why didn't you take any effort to learn something by yourself. I accept it’s my fault, but what i try to say is environment is not much conducive to give an impetus.

My father is a Tamil teacher with a science background, but I never took pain to learn from him. Because of some unknown reasons I believed he is more interested in science than Tamil. Even in my higher secondary days we never sat together to prepare for my Tamil papers. I took an easy path of reading just novels and புது கவிதைகள். He used to ask me to learn thirukural, whenever he gets a chance. But I was always contended with easy to read stuffs.
It took some time for me to understand that whatever i read and admired and tried to replicate were not poems they were just beautiful lines. How can I experiment in something without understanding the basic of it?
I was searching net to learn my mother tongue. Even at this point I never thought I can get back to my dad. Accidentally I got a chance to read a piece of hymn in remembrance of a person written by him, then only it dawned to me,” I can learn from him". I have to speak to him on this and i hope at least in a year I can learn something from him

how far it can go?

2006-12-02T14:07:00.000-08:00

well what aperson will do , if he feels extremely bored and couldnot find an ear which can hear all his musings? If the person is me I'll start an blog.I am not sure how many posts I am going to put. If I touch double digit it could be a big break through. Let me give a try. well I can count this as a post also.